STFU Parents: Are Grandmajackers Annoying Or Just Cluelessly Adorable?

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If there’s one social media demographic that tends to eschew the “rules” of online engagement, it’s older people. I’m talking about people who only learned how to use Facebook in very recent years and couldn’t care less about their social media “brand.” People who use too many exclamation points, or no punctuation at all, and have an affinity for disregarding context in any given conversation. That’s right, I’m talking about grandparents.

Grandparents have a pretty solid online presence in 2015, and their understanding of social media deepens with every grandchild. How exciting it is for grandparents to now show off their grandchildren not just in line at the supermarket, but on the World Wide Web, too! These are truly modern times, and most of us know plenty of grandparents who take full advantage of technological advancements, whether it’s FaceTiming with their grandkids, posting videos of them on YouTube, or fawning all over their progeny’s progeny on Facebook. And for the most part, grandparents are a welcome dose of sweetness on social media, as most older people (in my feed, at least) appear to be much more interested in reflecting on the wonders of life than engaging in rage-heavy threads about, say, the disastrous effects of fracking. Grandparents are on social media to digitally pinch the cheeks of their loved ones, not to rattle off a pointless rant about the Apple watch. They make Facebook a more lovable place to be, and for that, I thank them.

That said, some grandparents might want to reconsider their approach to talking about their grandchildren online. Sheer excitement can get the best of anyone, but it especially gets the best of all the proud Nanas out there.

Intro 1

Intro 2

Ohhh, grandmas. Can you blame them for being caricatures of every other grandma that’s ever walked the earth? I’m not sure you can. But over the years, I’ve received numerous email examples of grandparents hijacking their Facebook friends’ status updates to brag, or simply interject information, about their grandchildren, and I finally felt that it was time to end my silence on this very pressing subject. The question is not ‘Should grandparents stop dedicating so much of their Facebook time to expressing the love and pride they feel for their grandchildren’? The question is ‘Is it adorable when grandparents (perhaps cluelessly) hijack their friends’ updates to talk about their grandkids, or is it actually just as annoying to the original poster (among other people) as any other type of hijacking’?

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We’ve talked about the various types of mommyjackers and daddyjackers and how irritating their comment foibles can be, but what about grandparents? Should they get a pass, or should they learn the delicate art of Facebook etiquette and stop shifting the conversation back to their grandkids? Let’s check out some hijacking Nanas and Papas to help us determine our answer.

1. Birthjacking

1. c-section

T. couldn’t just leave it at “Congratulations!” She had to take it one — okay, more like five — steps further by bragging about the new baby in HER life, at least as of January 15th or sooner, because January 15th is when her daughter’s scheduled to have a C-section. Why do I know this information?? Oh, right, because T. volunteered it on a (admittedly somewhat emoji-gendered) status update about someone else’s new baby boy. How about just letting these new parents have their moment and waiting until The Big Day in January to gloat?

2. Birthdayjacking

2. birthday

Birthdayjacking is a fad that might never go out of style, particularly if grandparents have anything to say about it. If it’s a grandchild’s birthday, you better believe random people on Facebook are going to know about it. As far as Nancy here is concerned, Phyllis’s birthday serves as a reminder to spread the word that it’s Nancy’s grandson’s birthday, too. How serendipitous! Thanks for reminding her, Phyllis! I also love the way Nancy writes ‘Grandson’s B-day’ as a proper noun. It’s like people become grandparents and overnight they forget what’s supposed to be a proper noun. It’s either the Cutest or Most Annoying habit in the World, depending on who you talk to.

 

3. Appalachian Trailjacking

3. grampyhood_App Trail

H. is one gratified grandpa! But what reads as an adorably affectionate comment to some may read as bumbling grandpajacking to others. After all, Debra is preparing to walk the Appalachian Trail, and that’s no small feat. She’s probably looking for some encouragement rather than fun facts about a 14-year-old she doesn’t know who will be celebrating a birthday. Still, that sounds terrible to say, right? H. is just a cute lil “grampy” and we should cut him a break? I honestly can’t decide if his SPECIAL COMMENT is worthy of side-eye or pity. All I know is that I want to share a bag of Werther’s Originals with this man.

4. Annoying Baby Development Appjacking

4A.

What’s more annoying than a person who uses the Baby Gaga app to notify Facebook friends of a fetus’s development on a weekly basis? Answer: A chronic grandmajacker (or, in this case, great-nanajacker) who doesn’t know when to quit. I have no idea if Teri kept up this routine every week of Shaynna’s pregnancy, but I do know her comments are bordering on vainglorious.

4B. (1)

The only silver lining I can see possibly coming from this is that maybe, MAYBE, Teri’s comment will discourage Shaynna from naming her baby Brayden. Other than that, I’m just extra-disappointed in the way people add “yden” to the end of kids’ names now. I don’t want to live to see the day in which we swear in a President Brayden. I really don’t.

5. Medical TMIjacking

5. medical hijack

On the one hand, Randy should stop throwing himself a pity party on Facebook and accept that everyone experiences discomfort after surgery. On the other hand, Carol manages to make Randy seem virtually soft-spoken after divulging a mini-novella about her granddaughter’s ear infection, which is pretty inexcusable. Yes, “poor little Bryni” can probably identify with Randy to some extent, but also, not really? So I’m not giving Carol a pass on this. She needs to chill on the grandmajacking, STAT. (And Randy needs to put on a Netflix marathon and close his computer. And probably fill that pain med prescription.)

6. Tapjacking

tapjacking

Here we have yet another Carol (a name that peaked in 1945, i.e. grandma-aged), and I think she’s trying to make a correlation between Linda’s status update and her sweet new grandbaby, but if Carol’s comment was a tap dance move, it’d probably classify as a “ball change” (defined as “alternately [placing] weight on the balls of the feet from each foot”). In other words, changing the subject. She’s shuffling the conversation like a little Shirley Temple Black. Does she even appreciate Linda’s pure passion for tap dancing — an audible and leather-shoed love affair that I once knew myself — or does she just want to evangelize about how great it is having a sweet new grandbaby? Maybe Carol needs a lesson in staying out of the spotlight. OR maybe, just maybe, Carol’s comment was exactly what Linda needed to hear. Maybe knowing that Carol has a sweet new grandbaby fills Linda with a joy like she’s never known, beyond tap dancing or anything else. After all, who doesn’t love a doting grandma? Isn’t that what Facebook is for?

**tap dances stage left out of this post**

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