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10 Things You Will Think Immediately After Giving Birth

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thingsyouwillthinkaftergivingbirthEvery woman’s labor and birth experience are different. Some of you will feel elated. Some of you will feel exhausted. Going though labor is such a personal, individual experience, and so many things factor into it. Whether you had a vaginal birth or a c-section. Whether you had a natural birth or took as many drugs as you could get your laboring little hands on. If the birth you had carefully outlined in your beautifully appointed leather-bound birthing plan notebook went the way you expected it to or not. But as a lady who has been to this baby expelling rodeo a few times, I know some of the things you will think immediately after giving birth. And this list is in no way inclusive.

My Heart Is Going To Explode I Can’t Believe That This Is The Love They Told Me About!!!!1111!!!!!!111OneElventy!!!111!!!!111!

That’s it. I’m done. Everything makes sense now. The heavens have parted and everything in the world is right. Everything. I thought I loved my parents. I thought I loved my spouse. But no, this is totally a million times different and now I get it. This is what they meant. I’m complete. My legs may still be shaking and I feel sort of pukey but it’s okay. I get it now. I get everything now. Wait. I did this? This came out of ME? How could I do something this incredible. Are you sure this is my baby? I did this? Wow.

Is That All There Is? 

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(Image: Manmadegirls)

Big whoop. I guess he is kinda cute. I’m tired.

Please Don’t Tell Me This Happened 

For the love of Goddess, God, The Universe, Jesus, The Magical Ultrasound Dolphin please don’t tell me anything else pushed out of my body while I was pushing. With people down there. Filming. I can’t look. I don’t wanna know. Just let the nurse hurry and clean me up and we shall never speak of this again.

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