Childrearing

STFU Parents: How To MommyJack Your Friends’ Life Milestones

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Yesterday I revealed that I do, in fact, have a name and that I also have a forthcoming book! It’s an exciting time, especially since I’ve been working on the STFU, Parents blog (and book) for several years. This got me thinking about a post I put up on the blog a while back about people who mommyjack their friends’ milestones. What is it about someone else’s good fortune, happiness, or success that causes some of us to immediately counter with an anecdote about ourselves? I know that I myself have been guilty of this, not on Facebook, per se, but in general. Whenever someone says something like, “I can’t believe I graduated/ran across the finish/am finally a home owner,” a voice inside my head processes that information and, occasionally, regurgitates some fun (or bitter) fact about my own life. I try to keep that information from actually leaving my head, though because I know it’s rude to steal someone’s thunder (or rain on their parade…whichever weather analogy you prefer). This is why I think it’s so hilarious and astonishing that so many other people don’t hold back.

I receive a lot of milestonejacking submissions, and they all reflect a self-absorbed attitude that, while innate to most people, probably shouldn’t be revealed on social media. You don’t want people to know that when you heard they were getting a raise, the first thing you thought was, “I want a raise!” and not, “Congratulations!” Or, in the case of parenting, you don’t want anyone to know that when you heard the word “raise” your first thought was, “I deserve a ‘raise’ after putting up with my kid’s last tantrum!” That’s not helpful to the discussion, and it totally detracts from the person’s original update. Thankfully, no one has milestonejacked my news about the book, but if they did, it’d probably sound a lot like the below examples. Let’s check out some of the ways people have injected themselves into their friends’ updates about significant moments in their lives.

1. WeddingJacking

STFU Parents

Jamie is totally sincere, and sincerity goes a long way, in my opinion. However, when I think of a traditional wedding, I imagine a bride in a beautiful white dress, and Jamie’s comment essentially shat all over that mental picture. All he had to do was avoid going into too much detail about why he couldn’t make it, but unfortunately he took his comment in a much more unsettling direction.

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