What Your Baby’s First Curse Word Says About You

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Try as you might to use saccharine substitutes like “Sugar” or “Oh, fudge,” at some point, your child is going to say a bad word. Maybe they pick it up from a playmate, maybe they mimic what they hear you say when you trip over one of their zillions of toys, either way, it’s as inevitable as puberty. But there is a pecking order to profanity, and I’m here to make you feel better (or worse) about your little one’s debut expletive. Here’s what your baby’s first curse word says about you.

1. Oh, Fiddlesticks

Unless your last name is Duggar, this is not a curse word. Don’t chime in with this anecdote when chatting with the other parents at the playground unless you want to be uninvited from this year’s cookie swap.

2. Crap

Don’t beat yourself up over this one, because its not really even a bad word. At least I hope not, because if it is, 1/8 of my daily statements are inappropriate for children. Still, I would hold off on uploading a video of your sassy mouthed babe to Youtube all the same.

3. Dipshit

While not the most egregious of bad words thanks to its use of the otherwise innocuous “dip”, it is indeed a (mild) curse word. Context matters here, so you have the right to be more upset if this term is used against a sibling, rather than, say, that little dipshit Brad down the street.

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