10 Kid Cliches That Are Totally Accurate

TV sitcoms and anecdotes from fellow parents tell us that we can expect certain things to happen once we have kids. Some of them are not necessarily true but others most certainly are. A cliche is what it is because there is usually a grain of truth to it. One by one, I have learned in my time as a parent that every single one of these kid cliches actually happened. I think I got most of the common ones but if I missed any, please add them in the comments!

1. Fevers are always worse at night.

I heard this and rolled my eyes- what, did their bodies run on a clock and get hotter at 11pm? The answer is yes. Yes, they do.

2. Kids are happy to play with a cardboard box.

I got a giant one yesterday from a delivery and they were occupied the rest of the day, I kid you not. Crayons, tape and cardboard. Hours of entertainment.

3. If you are on the phone, they will suddenly need All The Things.

My kids can be happily occupied doing any number of things but if I am on the phone, they appear out of nowhere with all kinds of demands. WHY??

4. Whatever they order at dinner, they will want yours.

I could ask them 700 times and confirm it but once they see my plate, they want my food. Every.single.time. And I suck at sharing.

5. If you dress them nicely, they will stain themselves.

How is it that their old clothes I don’t care about stay pristine but that adorable shirt from Gap Kids has crap on it by lunchtime on the first day they wear it?

6. Kids behave better for their teachers.

Even in daycare, it seems my kids were always perfect angels for their teachers and saved their nonsense for home.

7. If you want them to smile for a picture, they will not.

They could be happy and jumping around but as soon as the phone pops out for a picture, they turn sullen or run away. How can I brag about you on Facebook if you won’t look at me?!

8. If they have crayons and no one around, they will color on walls.

I smugly thought I had escaped this bullshit with my kids getting to seven and five without incident but my son did this just last week. Thanks, buddy. God forbid I escape one crappy kid cliche.

9. Kids flush items down the toilet that are not poop.

Did anyone else’s toddler try to flush a Little People figure down the toilet? Just mine? Alright, then.

10. You really will love them more than you can imagine.

This one holds true and is not at all a bad thing. I had no idea I could be so in love with someone who stuffed cereal in my Blu-ray player. They are adorable for a reason, folks.

(All GIF’s: Giphy)

(Image: MTPH/Shutterstock)