I Never Thought I’d Be The Jerk Asking My Family Not To Buy Toys For My Kids


I’m that annoying parent who doesn’t want anyone buying my kids toys for Christmas. It took four years and two kids to get to this place. If my kids get toys for Christmas, I’m going to scream.

I’ve always hated hearing people complain about gifts. I never really quite understood it — I mean, if you don’t like a gift, give it away. Or donate it. But I’m at the point where I feel like I’m being swallowed by toys. This is the definition of a first-world problem — I’m totally aware of that. But I don’t want to spend the next few months after Christmas thinking of ways to get some of the toys out of the house. I’m tired.

I never grasped what a pain it would be to sneak a toy away from a child who has already seen it. And honestly, I don’t want to amass a bunch of toys and donate my old used ones — because I really hate the concept of that. Old toys are bound to be broken, dirty, have stickers missing — that’s not charitable. It’s “here’s my crap. I don’t have room for it in my house anymore.”

Also, have you seen the photographs of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch? Every time I look at one, I picture one of my son’s Batman Imaginext caves floating along. Any time I walk into a child’s room, all I see is waste. I know that is a little drastic, but seriously. The toy thing is getting out of control.

When I was a kid we got one big toy each year at Christmas, and a few little things from relatives. And when I say “big toy” – I don’t mean big as in physically big or expensive. I mean we were allowed to put a couple things on a list that we really wanted, and were told to only expect one. And we were thrilled to get it. For me, it was usually some kind of Barbie. I never had toys spilling out of my room as a child — and I was perfectly happy.

Sorry kids. I know times have changed, but mom is bringing you back to the basics. I have to reel this toy thing in, STAT. And it’s starting with being that annoying mom who tells relatives not to buy toys for her kids.

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