16 Things You Should Never Say To A Mom Going Through A Divorce

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HBO Divorce two women talking

Image: HBO / Divorce

It’s a lovely thought, this idea that marriage is forever. When you meet, fall in love with, and decide to marry someone, you’re certainly not thinking about the possibility of the union ending. You love one another, have children together, build a life together. But sometimes, a lot of the time actually, things don’t work out. People change, fall out of love, grow apart. Sometimes outside circumstances play a role, like infidelity or financial hardship. It’s a hard thing to even think about, and a much harder thing to experience. The end of a marriage is rarely a happy time, even if the relationships ends for the right reasons. Uncoupling your life from the person you’ve built that life with is difficult and emotional, even in the best scenarios. Going through a divorce is life-altering, for all involved.

When someone you know is going through a divorce, you want to help in some way. You want to support them through this incredibly difficult transition. If that person is a mom, this is especially important. It’s hard enough when a marriage ends – when there are kids involved, it becomes so much harder. We know you want to be there and do whatever you can, but it’s hard to know what to say. Here are some things it’s a good idea to avoid saying to a mom going through a divorce.

“What about the kids?”

going through a divorce

Image: Fox

This is the NUMBER ONE THING you should never say to a mom going through a divorce. If you think that she hasn’t spent every waking moment thinking about how this will affect her kids, then you clearly don’t know her very well. Yes, divorce is traumatic for kids. But you know else is traumatic for kids? Growing up in a toxic home with parents who don’t love each other. For a lot of families, the best possible option is to divorce and work on finding a good co-parenting routine. It’s healthier for the parents, and healthier for the kids. Instead of asking “what about the kids?”, ask how you can help WITH the kids. They need support, not judgement.

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