being a mom

Dear Courtney Stodden, It’s Going To Be Okay

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BPfKMC9CAAApXugCourtney Stodden is getting divorced. Let’s quick recap, shall we? Courtney is the young woman who married the then 51-year-old television actor Doug Hutchison when she was just 16-years-old. A child bride. She has been married for around two years. Now, it can be argued that Courtney hasn’t contributed a lot to society. She hasn’t become some wonderful advocate for any charities, save for posing for PETA. She doesn’t act, or write, and you could argue that her singing career hasn’t brought the world a huge amount of joy.

Courtney Stodden doesn’t do a whole lot other than being Courtney Stodden. And for whatever reason, the world has granted her a fair amount of fame for just being Courtney, and marrying a man much older than her who should have known better at the time.

The amount of snark and vitriol splashed across media headlines since the divorce was announced it pretty shocking to me. Maybe it’s because Courtney is beautiful, in an adult-film star sort of way, blond and leggy and breathy and large-breasted. Acrylic nails and heavily glossed lips, she is what the collective masses label a “slut” a “skank” a “whore” and an idiot.

While very few media outlets take to task her estranged spouse.

I was married at age 24 and divorced a couple of years later. There wasn’t a vast age difference between me and my ex-husband, we had a kid together, and I consider us friends. It was an easy divorce in many ways, but it doesn’t matter how easy any divorce is, it is still a sad time for anyone. Divorces are sad, losing a friend is sad, moving is sad, losing a job is sad, the death of a loved one or a pet is sad. These are all sad things. And no matter how she acts, no matter what she does in the days following her divorce, no matter whether or not she understands the predatory nature of a man old enough to be her  grandfather marrying her to begin with, I’m sure Courtney is sad.

I have a soft spot for Courtney. I have seen her called the worst sorts of names, names no mother should ever hear in conjunction with her DAUGHTER spewed in headlines, in article comment sections, on message boards, on social media, all over. Put her in a pair of sweats and wash her face and at the end of it, she is just a girl, now pretty much a woman, and it just can’t be easy being her.

So go ahead, make fun of her, call her whatever sexist slut-shamey names you want to, but I’ll be hoping at the end of this she finds herself, finds her calling, finds joy in this world and goes on to bring that joy to others. Who knows? Maybe she’ll end up being an advocate to child brides the word over. This mother can only hope.

(Image: twitter)