The Mommy Wars

Are You There, Moms? It’s Me, Idiot What Do You Secretly Judge Other Parents For?

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mom adviceAre You There, Moms? It’s Me, Idiot is an ongoing series dedicated to helping one very well-intentioned and dumb future-parent learn about the world of childrearing. Click here to see past columns.

Happy Friday! Did everyone have a good week? My week was lovely, thank you, even though I do not lead the rewarding life of a parent. This week, I’m here to inadvertently stir some shit. I apologize. Let’s get through this together.

There’s no shortage of judgmental parents out there, and something that I love about all you people is that there’s not a sanctimommy to be found in your ranks. But…we can all agree there’s parenting things we judge, right? Sure, it has to be really bad, like teaching your kids not to respect people or people who are being judgmental themselves, but we all have negative opinions, even if we claim to be non-judgmental.

Basically, I strive to be as non-judgmental as possible, and try to see arguments from all sides before coming to any conclusion. But at the end of the day, there’s still things I really can’t get behind. Can you all make me feel a little more normal by owning up to your judgments, too?

For me, it’s anti-vaxxers. There’s very little that I have an opinion about when it comes to parenting, but I can’t begin to get my head around the argument against vaccination. When it comes to most parenting conflicts, my policy is that if you’re not hurting your child or anyone else, I don’t care in the slightest. Choosing not to vaccinate doesn’t meet that criteria, and my judgmental side eye is upon you.

To be fair, I’m opening myself up for judgment here, and that seems like an okay trade off. I certainly get judged for a lot of my lifestyle including the fact that I live with my boyfriend, either dated too much or not enough, the way I make my living, my politics, and everything else I ever do. I’d never assume that I’m judgment-proof.

So let me have it. What are you secretly judgmental of when it comes to parenting? Gun stuff? Attachment parenting? A childless 20-something demanding that people parent her over the internet in a weekly column dedicated to her idiocy? We’re all judging something, and of course, there’s no shortage of things that other parents judge you for. So let’s come clean about our own judgments and what gets us put in the spotlight, too.

Photo: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret