Are You There, Moms? It’s Me, Idiot What Would You Do If Your Kids Didn’t Take All Your Cash?

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mom adviceAre You There, Moms? It’s Me, Idiot is an ongoing series dedicated to helping one very well-intentioned and dumb future-parent learn about the world of childrearing. Click here to see past columns.

Hello! As I mentioned last week, I’m cavorting around Europe these days, but I’ll be back next week. In the meantime, let’s talk about the sacrifices you make as a parent, particularly the fun stuff.

I’m very aware of the fact that the reason I can travel right now is that my anemic savings account can go to things like a trip and not to diapers and baby clothes. Traveling is also easy–I fit all my crap in a small bag and can sleep on floors. There’s no baby bag or baby to lug around, and I don’t have to stop to feed someone who is not me or worry about anyone else’s bathroom needs. It’s a freedom that I know is a luxury, and will be limited once I have kids. That’s not to say that parents aren’t capable of traveling with children–but it’s a completely different experience that will change when I become a parent myself. I know I’ll miss that independence.

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I know that my parents sacrificed quite a bit to provide for us growing up–our educations were expensive, we lived in a hugely expensive city, and we were needy little shits who required a lot of attention. While I’m very lucky that my parents would never have traded us for any other life, I sometimes I wonder about the things they wished they could have done if they hadn’t been supporting us. Now that we’re out of the house and self-sufficient, they’re doing a lot of traveling and eating at fancy restaurants like a couple of celebrities. They deserve it.

So, what do you wish you could be doing right now that you can’t because you just spent all your money on Gymboree? Do you want to slap me in the face for my carefree, world traveling experience? Please don’t. I love you.


Photo: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret