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As Much As We Wish It Were True, There’s No Way Jessa Duggar And Ben Seewald Had Sex In A Church

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jessa-duggar-weddingJessa Duggar and Ben Seewald got married last weekend and the internet is dying to believe that they consummated their marriage in a church closet right after their wedding vows. That would be hot as hell — but sorry, internet. As much as I’d like to formulate endless jokes about this, and possibly even write some Duggar erotic fan fiction — there’s no way this happened.

First of all, let’s consider the source. I am going to go out on a limb and say that the blog from which the rumor came is a hilarious parody. Because it’s either a hilarious parody or the worst thing I’ve ever read in my life. Here are some entries.



Screen Shot 2014-11-07 at 8.18.45 AMThis has to be parody, right? Please?

Okay, so the internet is running with these allegations based on a comment on this ridiculous blog, My Life As A Stay At Home Mom. The blogger claims to have attended the Duggar/Seewald wedding last weekend, and wrote a post describing how fun it was. Someone named Mary B. came along and claimed that Jessa and Ben had some steamy sex session in a back room of a church, and her sisters walked in on it. Here’s part of her allegation:

“As you know it is my daughter who knows the girls from Journey to the Heart but we were so kindly invited as well. As I mentioned to you at the reception I was very upset when I was told about the incident that was witnessed by the girls when the door to the room they were in was accidently opened. I am not sure why they would not wait for the evening to pray and then consumate God’s marriage. The Lord has blessed them and brought them together. To hear so many people discussing what they inadvertendly walked into was heartbreaking and troubling. Why did this happen? How could this beautiful, joyus day now be forever tainted and destroyed by rumors about what the girls may (or may not have) seen? And if this is true why would they commit such an act in the Lord’s home…the same Lord who guided them together. This really made me question Ben’s headship and leadership skills. I pray he is not swayed to evil. I pray he acts as strong husband and worship leader to Miss Jessa. I have a terrible, guy feeling. I have tried talking to my husband about this but he has said he will not talk about it until he prays about it and gets an answer from the Lord. This on average takes about 48 hours for him to recieve an answer.”

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