Victoria’s Secret ‘A Body For Every Body’ Is Probably Not For Your Body

When Victoria’s Secret released their new ‘Perfect Body’ marketing campaign last week, with the slogan plastered over a picture of ten tall, glowing, stick-thin models, they got an earful of righteous anger from social media. So the good folks at Victoria’s Secret tried to address their misstep yesterday, by giving the marketing campaign an updated name and slogan. The new title is ‘A Body for Every Body‘. And it’s still plastered over the exact same image of ten models cut from the same 5’10”, 120-pound mold.

The models, several of whom have countable ribs but none of whom appear to have more than 5% body fat, are about as diverse in terms of body type as the mannequins on display in a department store. The social media backlash that was responsible for the demise of the original ‘Perfect Body’ slogan (via a Change.org petition and a huge Twitter outcry) deemed the campaign’s message harmful to young girl, who don’t need to be told that a ‘perfect’ body necessarily equates to one that looks like a supermodel’s. I’m not sure the new campaign is much better, though, with its implication that ‘every body’ out there is well represented by a selection of the thinnest women in the world. I guess the Victoria’s Secret design ran out of room when adding the updated slogan to the photograph, because ‘A Body For Every Body, As Long As You Look More Or Less Like This’ is probably a little too long to fit.

It’s not clear if or when the posters that have already been shipped out to stores for display will be replaced, but I won’t be finding out, because Victoria’s Secret isn’t getting any of my money. I’m short. I have had two children. In lingerie, I look like a piece of Silly Putty that’s been left out in the sun. If you, like me, don’t fit into one of the ten clone-like categories of body type offerings from the store, go elsewhere. For one thing, I’ve heard more than one story from people who have been, let’s say, politely discouraged from shopping at VS due to their physique. Or, occasionally, not so politely. For another, they don’t have a great track record with boobs that aren’t currently being squished into one of their crappy bras. (Which reminds me of yet another reason to skip a mall trip to Vicky’s: they are notoriously bad at actually getting people a bra size that actually fits them properly. It was ages before I got a department store fitting and realized I’d been cramming the girls into a 36A for no reason at all. There is no joy like a properly fitted bra! Do your boobs a favor and take them somewhere else. If you go to literally anyone else that has 1.) a tape measure and 2.) one or more eyes, you should be in good shape.

Also, the first person to try to accuse me of ‘skinny-shaming’ in the comments can eat my stretched out, ugly nursing bra. If you have the sort of body type that allows you to shop at Victoria’s Secret, my beef is not with you – congratuwelldone! But you also don’t get to be mad at the rest of us who don’t fit that very rigid mold for complaining and taking our boob-money elsewhere. Sorry, but acknowledging that there is more than one way to have a ‘perfect body’, or that ‘every body’ should be a little more diverse than being 5’9″ and 110 pounds or 5’11” and 125, is not skinny-shaming. It’s reality.

(Image: Twitter)