Adoptive Parents Who ‘Truly Hate’ Their Adopted Kids Are Swapping Them On Facebook

By  | 

I need some more fucks. Does anyone have any fucks I can borrow?

I have seen this floating around the news lately and I knew if I even attempted to cover this story I would need to go see my doctor for some blood pressure medication as soon as possible because it would make me so rage furious I would almost pass out.

Parents who are adopting children and then deciding they no longer want these children are “re-homing” them by connecting with other adoptive families on Facebook and via internet groups. From

When a disabled Chinese girl was adopted by an American couple, she thought she had gotten lucky. But then that couple “re-homed” Nora Gately to a new family, who made their 17 adopted children clean the bathroom with toothbrushes and dig their own graves in the backyard.

Gately, now 26,  was adopted from a Chinese orphanage just before her 13th birthday. But after a few years, her adoptive father took her on a road trip which ended in a “re-homing,” this time with a family in Tennessee.  Gately, who has polio, says her new mother often took away her leg brace as punishment for small infractions.


If this doesn’t infuriate you enough, the article goes on to state that:

In one November 2012 post, a Nebraska woman advertised an 11-year old boy she had adopted from Guatemala: “I am totally ashamed to say it but we do truly hate this boy!”


Yahoo has removed this group since Reuters and NBC news launched the investigation. Americans have adopted nearly a quarter of a million children from overseas since the 1990’s. I believe that in the majority of these cases, parents who adopt are willing to do anything to insure that their kids have a wonderful home life and do everything biological parents do, raise their kids in loving, happy healthy environments. These investigations are so infuriating because I know there are so many amazing adoptive parents out there. But in some cases, when the kid has undisclosed medical or psychological problems, or when the adoptive parents are just horrific monsters, things can take a terrible turn and everything you could ever imagine in your worst nightmares happens. From NBC:

“She said, ‘You can run away for all I care and I’ll let the coyotes out there eat you,’ ” recalled Nora. “’Nobody knows you were here anyway.’”

Sometimes, claimed Nora, Debra would punish the children by forcing them to dig their own “graves,” leaving holes “everywhere” in the backyard. Sometimes she made Nora supervise the other children as they dug, and at least once Nora was made to do it herself.

“She said, ‘Get out and go dig your own grave,” said Nora. “Nobody will find you.”

“So I dug. And she watched. And watched, and watched.”

According to Nora, the hole took three hours to dig and was big enough to fit her body.

The Schmitz house was in the country, far from prying eyes. When state officials came to visit, she alleges, they didn’t necessarily see all the kids, because Debra made it difficult.

Away from scrutiny, says Nora, Debra would drink and surf the internet, looking for more children. She had an alarm on the gate and cameras around the house to monitor both the kids and any unexpected visitors.

It’s all amazingly horrific, but I urge you to read The Child Exchange published by Reuters, which delves into other cases and goes more in depth about the Yahoo groups people were using to swap kids, in non-legalized adoptions, in some cases with nothing more than a few emails exchanged and a phone call. If you want to totally ruin your entire day, which I have, read this section about how a “pedophile takes home a fun boy.”

I can’t even begin to understand this. I can’t even begin to understand how people even re-home pets this way, much less humans. It’s so heartbreaking. And it makes me furious for all the people I know who would love to adopt a baby or a child from another country, but can’t afford to do so.

(Image: Ermolaev Alexander /shutterstock)