STFU Parents: Parents With Road Rage on Facebook Terrify Me

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5. For Some Reason, Gina Never Got An Apology


“So either way I fucking win” is a lower back tattoo that I plan to get as soon as I file this column. But aside from that stroke of genius, Gina here sounds like she’s completely and totally INSANE. I wonder what being “very cautious” in Gina’s world means if she’s prone to getting out of her car, screaming in strangers’ faces, banging on their car, kicking their doors, and punching their windows? Is that like…some kind of cautious behavior practiced in the dystopian future? Because my version of being very cautious would probably be to slow down, change lanes, and possibly pull off on the first exit that has a sign for Waffle House. You know what I love doing when I’m feeling cautious with a 17.5 month old in the car? Braking for hashbrowns, smothered and covered, and maybe a waffle or two. When I’m NOT feeling “very cautious,” I might — maybe — yell an incessant string of obscenities at another driver with my windows up. I live right on the edge. But I guess Gina and I exist on two entirely different planes of reality, because what she’s describing actually sounds frightening and abusive. The idea of her calling the state trooper to complain about these other people just confirms that Gina thinks she’s the Most Important Driver on the road simply for having a 17.5 month old baby in the car (emphasis on the .5, because Gina’s baby’s life is precious and we must be accurate about these things when it’s a life or death matter.) Thanks for proving my point about parents with road rage, Gina. I’ll be sure to stay out of your way moving forward.

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