Mommyshame

STFU Parents: Parents Who Are Demanding About Their Kids’ Birthdays On Facebook

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By now, everyone who spends ample time online has seen the ‘Most demanding 1st birthday invite ever’ that went around last week after being posted on Reddit. I know I have; it was sent my way dozens of times in tweets like these:

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People have come to think of STFU, Parents as a repository for the online antics of over-the-top parents, so it makes sense that they thought of the site. And for the most part, the reactions I read to the birthday email were along the lines of “eye-roll explosion x infinity” regardless of whether someone has kids or not. Across the board, thousands of people agreed that the “Most demanding 1st birthday invite ever” was just that. My takeaway was similar to my response to those “newborn visitation rules” people post on social media and send to everyone they knowParentsplaining in its well-intentioned forms is already a major bummer, but it’s especially off-putting when it surrounds something like a child’s birthday wish list (or the ‘wish list’ the child’s parents have conveniently slapped together for friends and family and possibly their entire social media networks to utilize).

But not everyone in my newsfeed appreciated the way everyone pointed and laughed at the viral birthday invite. I saw one status update that specifically condemned people for picking on parents, particularly “since most parents are just doing the best they can” (side note: I can’t count how many times I’ve heard someone say this, and honestly, I don’t think it needs to be said anymore. Just a thought.). My acquaintance’s beef was also with the way the media picks on parents and rips them apart (essentially legitimizing internet “shaming”), and from a certain perspective, that accusation is true. Nothing gets people talking faster than a story about two moms arguing at a grocery store, or an email written by a mother with a birthday party piñata stick up her ass. Any version of “excessive parenting” is considered low-hanging fruit, and the media chomps on it all day long.

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