STFU Parents: 6 Ways Parents Talk About Halloween On Social Media

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Happy Halloween, everyone! In honor of the holiday, I’ve put together a collection of submissions that all screamed out to me from beyond the grave (aka my email inbox). Every year, parents tend to post the same drab, sanctimonious, and/or pumpkin-themed Halloween updates on social media, but I’m usually too busy posting about placentas or bath poop to discuss them here on Mommyish. Since I’ve been writing this column, my sole intention has been to scare the crap out of you good people around Halloween, but this year, I thought it’d be fun to check out a cross-section of good ol’ fashioned Halloween updates to keep things a little neater. A little less bloody, if you will. After all, I already subjected you to last week’s poop art exhibition; why continue on that path when we all know it leads to someplace dank and unpleasant?

Let’s stick to the facts: Today is Halloween, and Halloween represents many things to many people. For some, like me, it’s a time to amp up the horror, because horror is scary and fun. For others, Halloween symbolizes the Devil and evil demons that go against their religion, along with some other stuff that I don’t pay attention to because I’m too busy admiring pregnant zombie costumes. These extremes are at annual odds with each other, and one of the easiest ways to observe that behavior is by reading parents’ status updates online. One parent might post about hand-sewing her daughter’s elaborate vampire costume while another updates about the dangers of taking candy from strangers. To get a better idea of this spectrum of attitudes toward Halloween, let’s check out several spooky examples. (And for more posts in honor of Halloween, be sure to check out Fright Fest all day on STFU, Parents – if you dare. Mwahahaha.)

1. dressing as a dad







Last year, I wrote a post titled “Moms Dressing As Moms For Halloween” about the on-going trend of parents dressing as “parents” each year, because I kind of don’t get it. Yes, I realize it’s a joke among parents who are too busy or tired to bother dressing up (and whose focus is on their kid’s costume), but like I said last year, wouldn’t that just be like my grandma joking that she’s dressing as a “grandma,” or my mom dressing as a “retired teacher”? The joke is entertaining to an extent, but it’s cheesy if intended seriously (“…best costume ever”), and a little dumb if meant as an excuse (“I’m dressing as a mom who’s had an exhausting week and hasn’t had time to wash her hair!”).

Sure, not everyone dresses up every year, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying to put in the effort. I really enjoy families that trick-or-treat AND dress up together. If you’re a parent who doesn’t dress up, it’s no big deal, but pictures of family costumes are far more entertaining than jokes about dressing as a mom or a dad for the third year in a row, yuk yuk yuk.

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