12 Snacks You Should Never Bring To Your Child’s Classroom

We’ve been having quite the laugh about the mom who had a hissy fit over not being allowed to bring cookies that look like vaginas to her child’s second-grade classroom. Because we want to help all those busy moms out there, here is a list of a few other snacks that you should not bring to your kid’s classroom.

1. Edible panties.

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(Photo: Ecouterre via Pinterest)

Kids think underpants are hilarious, and who doesn’t love licorice? I get it. But trust me when I say that the other kindergarten parents will not be as amused.

2. Nutella dipping cookies.

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(Photo: Delish.com via Pinterest)

The idea is genius. But no one wants to see children licking Nutella off of penis-shaped finger cookies.

3. A platter filled with halved papayas and halved butternut squash.

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(Photo: Already Pretty via Pinterest)

This, laid out the on a platter, is bad enough.

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(Photo: Elana’s Pantry via Pinterest)

But combined with this? Now you’ve got trouble.

4. Body paint.

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(Photo: Angiesdomesticationstation.blogspot.com via Pinterest)

Hey kids! Come check out the fun! We get to paint each other with chocolate and then lick it off okay now I see why this is a problem.

5. Sweetbreads.

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(Photo: Gourmet.com via Pinterest)

Kids love fried foods, so why not introduce them to the salty, earthy taste of fried cow tongue, cheek, and balls? Their parents will be disgusted by your sense of adventure.

6. Fish tacos.

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(Photo: Buzzfeed via Pinterest)

Do I really need to go into this one? I mean, enter into a conversation about it? I mean…explain it?

7. Cookies with whole pecans on top.

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 (Photo: thehappyhomebodies via Pinterest)

The kids will either be thinking “butts” or vaginas.” Either way, you’ve lost control of that class.

8. Dried apples and pears. 

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 (Photo: extension.psu.edu via Pinterest)

But it’s a healthy snack that looks exactly like a vagina with the labia spread!

9. Candle stick salad.

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(Photo: thekitchn.com via Pinterest)

True story: my husband’s grandmother served this to me once. It’s a classic. That said, there is no excuse for serving this to children in 2014.

10. Banana split pudding pops.

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(Photo: thekitchenmccabe.com via Pinterest)

Looks delicious, doesn’t it? You know those kids are going to suck that whipped cream right off the top of those bananas, which is exactly why this needs to stay at home.

11. Food that looks like it’s screaming.

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(Photo: weheartit.com via Pinterest)

Go ahead, Timmy. Don’t be scared! Go ahead and pull out its tongue! Or just eat the head first to put it out of its misery.

12. Liquored-up cupcakes.

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(Photo: allrecipes.com via Pinterest)

Teach the kids a little bit about history with these cupcakes called Irish Car Bombs. Also, teach the kids about why alcohol is bad with these chocolate beer cupcakes made with whiskey filling and Irish cream frosting. That’s what I call a two-fer!

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