mom fun

One Million Moms Is Trying To Ruin My Fall TV Viewing And Protect Us From Gays

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In addition to saving our teen daughters from wild walrus sex, One Million Moms loves to get their hysterical save-the-children mommy noses all up in our television viewing biz. They have attempted to stage attacks against Modern Family, The New Normal, Glee and now a new television program slated for premiere on September 30th, called 666 Park Avenue. Don’t One Million Moms realize that Breaking Bad will have the season finale on Sunday and Downton Abbey doesn’t start again until January 6? What do they expect us to watch in the meantime? I’m sure they don’t approve of American Horror Story or Sons of Anarchy or Boardwalk Empire either. What’s so dangerous about 666 Park Avenue that One Million Moms wants to protect us from it?

From the 666 Park Avenue Website:

What would you do to have everything you desire? Step inside 666 Park Avenue, New York’s most seductive address. We all have some burning needs, desires and ambitions. For the residents of The Drake, the premier apartment building on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, these will all be met – for a price – courtesy of the building’s mysterious owner.

Waitaminnit, this sounds vaguely similar to the plot description of another ABC television show that aired in the late 1970’s, Fantasy Island*. One Million Moms goes on to state:

ABC website also describes the apartment building as a wicked, dangerous power, and the owner of the building as a dark power.The owner of the apartment building in the show portrays characteristics of the devil himself. Previews include terrifying screams, death, spirits, satanic symbols, and souls bought for a price.

So it’s a lot like Fantasy Island, but the show has an angry building that has “dangerous powers” and some “terrifying screams” and upon further investigation, I think I know why OMM is all flustered about this.


the series has four LGBT characters on a regular basis- three lesbians and a gay man

Ding, ding ding! We have a winner. The dangerous, scream building also has some gays in it, and if it’s one thing our friends at OMM aren’t crazy about, it’s the gays.

Now I get to break this down. Most children will not be seeing this program. It’s going to air on 10 p.m. on a Sunday night, which for most children, home schooled or otherwise, is technically a school night. The majority of parents have their grade school and middle school kids in bed by at least 10 p.m., because if they don’t, the kids are cranky and exhausted in school and by 10 p.m, most parents do not want to see their children, much less watch TV with them. If teenagers are allowed to stay up that late, most parents do what I do, and say “10:30 at the latest and you can read in bed”, which means that most teens are either doing homework they have put off until the last minute, listening to music, or texting their little friends about how their lame mom keeps yelling at them to get to bed. Not that my own teen does this or anything. Now if a kid does see the previews for this show and decides they badly want to view it, and they very well may, because it’s by the same produces as Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars, then most parents will probably watch it first, to make sure it’s appropriate viewing for whatever age their kid is, and that their kid won’t be scared by the scary building. We parents are all smart like that, and we know how to view media and see if it’s appropriate for our kids or not.

Our children are coming into contact with gays. Daily. They teach our kids, are neighbors to our kids, serve our kids in restaurants, doctor our kids, protect our kids in the forms of policemen and firemen (and women) and sometimes even kiss their own kids goodnight and read them a bedtime story and decide if certain TV programs are okay for them to watch. Here is an important fact I don’t think the One Million Moms realize, seeing gay people, both on and off TV, does not make children gay. It just doesn’t happen.

So now that I’ve explained two very important facts to OMM, maybe they can move on to actual reality issues that effect our nation’s kids, like education and health care reform. They can leave parenting issues, like what our kids see on TV and how we feel about gay people to actual parents.

Judging from the trailer for this show, I think the scariest thing about it is how junky the laundry room looks contrasted against how fancy the apartment building is, and I don’t think my own kids will be that interested in watching it, because it doesn’t involve a guy with a giant lollipop head. But that will be for me and my husband to decide, not a less-than-one-million activist group who seems more interested in spewing intolerance and hysteria than you know, actually protecting the children.

*Did you know guest stars that appeared on Fantasy Island included Loretta Lynn, The Smothers Brothers, Frankie Avalon and Don Ho? Thank you Wikipedia!