mom fun

8 Milestones You Won’t Find In Any Baby Book

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baby bookBefore my kids were even born I decided not to get a baby book. Pre-kids I could barely remember to buy cat food so I figured there was no point in purchasing something I would only feel guilty over not filling out. Besides, no one cares how many inches your baby was at birth or the exact minute of the day that he exited your uterus. Baby books are boring. If I were designing my own, here are the milestones I’d write down, because these are the moments no parent will forget.

1. The first time you take your child to the ER.

Ask me what I wore to bring my babies home from the hospital and my mind is a blank. But the first time you rush your child to the emergency room, that tends to stick with you in vivid detail.

2. Your first call to poison control.

The wonderful people working the poison control hotline are calm, quick and helpful. The first time I called them I was a weepy mess. Now they know me so well we practically exchange recipes.

3. Baby’s first projectile vomit.

Maybe your obnoxious brother-in-law didn’t listen when you told him not to hold the baby over his head or maybe your child just didn’t take well to peas, either way you’ll never forget this moment that reminds you of that scene in The Exorcist.

4. The first time your kid eats poop.

You run, you scream, you don’t get there in time to stop it. It happens to the best of us, but it’s still disgusting.

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