Little Girl Just Can’t With This Claw Machine, Crawls Inside And Starts Handing Out Toys
This is the stuff folk heroes are made of. One day, “The Ballad of The Adorable Claw Machine Vigilante” will be sung for an adorable little South Floridian girl who basically said “fuck it” to a claw machine at a local arcade, climbed inside, and started passing toys out to passersby, even taking requests for specific plushes.
My own kid has often heard the siren call of these machines, wasting quarter after hard-earned tooth fairy quarter to try and snag a poorly crafted asbestos-stuffed puppy dog or unlicensed Disney princess, so I know firsthand the impotent little-kid frustration of getting totally ripped off with no recourse.
This little girl laughed in the face of such injustice and wriggled inside the machine instead, tossing out Flappy Birds and stale-smelling Curious Georges to anyone who asked, exactly like a tiny Robin Hood, only way more adorable and considerably more bad ass, since she looks like she can’t be too much older than 7 or 8.
The photo was originally posted on Reddit, where it didn’t take long for people to start crying “theft” and berating whoever the child’s mother is for letting her be so hardcore without supervision. While I get that yes, technically this is thieving thievery, apparently a few people tried to get the attention of the staff members who, annoyed that there were people in the arcade, ignored the snitches. There’s also something distinctly satisfying about a little kid who refuses to be made a rube by the unfair machinations of un-winnable money eating claw machines and decides to go all Oprah on it instead. “You get a shoddily constructed Snoopy, andÂ youÂ get a shoddily constructed Snoopy! Everyone gets a shoddily constructed Snoopy!”
I am so beyond cool with this it’s a little bit scary. In reality, I’d be terrified if my kid ever crawled up inside one of these things, since apparently that kind of nonsense happens all the time. But on the other hand, you have to give this kid some credit for sharing her new found plushie riches. It’s one thing to have your child climb up inside of a machine, yoink a toy, and run away. It’s quite another for your child to have the clarity to understand that for too long, people have bowed to the tyranny of the claw, and have them take a stand. This is leadership material, people.
We all need to vote Little Blonde Bad Ass in 2044.