Girl Scout Cookies Are Wicked And Promote Lesbianism, Says Pastor Crazy

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shutterstock_7636930__1382550167_142.196.156.251Stop eating that box right now. Stop it!

I couldn’t resist. Pastor and right wing activist Kevin Swanson is imploring America to stop eating Girl Scout Cookies because they promote lesbianism and wickedness. How much do you want to bet that he has a sleeve of Thin Mints in his freezer right now? Resistance is futile, Kevin.

Pastor Crazy is really on a roll with this rant:

I don’t want to promote a wicked organization that, according to its own website, doesn’t promote godly womanhood. It just doesn’t. I don’t see anything that promotes godly womanhood. The vision of the Girl Scouts Of America is antithetical to the biblical vision for womanhood friend. It’s antithetical to it! I beg of you, do not buy Girl Scout Cookies. And if you do, take a big, black magic marker and cross out every reference to Girl Scouts of America on all the signs and all the boxes.

Don’t buy Girl Scout cookies! But if you do, just take a giant sharpie and cross out the name “Girl Scouts” on it as not to remind yourself that you are eating the devil’s cookie. Eating the devil’s cookie! I’m on a roll today. The devil’s a woman, right?

I searched and searched but I couldn’t find the “Lesbianism”workshop on the Girl Scouts of America website. I did find a statement that explains what they do:

Girl Scouts earn badges, hike and camp, participate in the cookie program, and much more. They improve neighborhoods, protect the planet, design robots, and establish sports clinics.


Oh, and here’s the pledge each scout takes:

The Girl Scout Promise

On my honor, I will try:

To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

The Girl Scout Law

I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.


(photo: John Stebbins Portfolio/ Shutterstock)