Pop Culture

Animal Rescue Pens Humorous Adoption Bio for ‘Bastard Cat’

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If you’ve ever met a cat, lived with a cat, or owned a cat (or been owned by a cat), you know that they can be quite the characters. Compared to loving and loyal dogs, cats are rather independent creatures. Some cats are cuddly, but many are also aloof unless they want to be pet. They don’t usually come when they’re called. They don’t seem to care how angry you get if they walk all over your laptop or drop down your glass of water off the table. Now, one Australian animal rescue has penned the funniest adoption bio ever for their “utter bastard of a cat,” Mr. Biggles. Here’s a little bit about this cat who may just end up taking over the world.

Meet Mr. Biggles

“Mr Biggles (also known as Lord Bigglesworth) is an utter utter utter bastard. He looks gorgeous with his slinky shiny black fur and big yellow eyes… but beware. If he doesn’t like what you’re doing he will give you a nip! Sometimes he likes to swipe at your feet too. It just depends on what he can reach at the time,” says the bio, written by Cat People of Melbourne’s founder and coordinator, Gina Brett.

Brett says that Mr. Biggles throws “catty tantrums” when he’s not allowed outside when he wants to, as well as when his meals aren’t exactly on time, or when he’s asked not to “strut across the kitchen benches helping himself to whatever is there.” Hrm. Sounds like this kitty is anything but shy about letting you know what he wants.

“Mr Biggles is a despot and dictator, he will let you know he is not happy, which is often because things are often just not up to his high standards,” says the bio. But don’t worry. He’s not all evil.

The Softer Side of Lord Bigglesworth

“Mr Biggles does have a secret soft side… he plays with kittens and actually does love a cuddle from time to time. He loves to be involved with what you’re doing and loves to have a chat, he will respond if you talk to him. While he’s not a fan of being picked up, likes a pat and cuddle from time to time and even permits kisses on his shiny black head if he’s feeling mellow.”

Yeah, that’s right. Even the toughest kitties end up having a soft side. If you’re in Melbourne and in need of a companion who’s 3 parts dictator and 1 part snugglepuss, it sounds like Mr. Biggles might be your new BFF. Check out his website, utterbastardcat.com for more details on this handsome feline, or read the full version of the ad on PetRescue.com.

(Image: Twitter / @onegreenplanet)