My Fiancé And I Are Already Fighting Over My Son’s Hair — And He Barely Has Any

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first hair cutMy son, at seven months, now has enough hair to say, well, he has hair! It seems to be pin straight and sticks up like freshly planted grass. There will be no need for that first hair cut for a while, but the argument over his hairstyle started long before he was born. In fact, it started when he was still in my uterus.

I love the look of boys with longer hair, kind of the surfer look, and also mohawks, like Gwen Stefani’s children (and, yes, I realize that my son is not the offspring of rock stars.) But mostly I do like the long hair, surfer-dude look and this is what my fiancé and I have been arguing about for many, many months. From the day he came home from the hospital, my mother-in-law told me I’d have to think about where I wanted to part his hair.

I was like, “There’s barely any hair. And, also, I can barely walk. I just had a C-section. Can I get my Tylenol Three now?”

Haircuts for girls seem a lot easier. Long hair or short hair. Bangs or no bangs. But when it comes to boys, well, let’s just say there are a lot more options. My fiancé prefers our son to have a preppy look when it comes to our son’s haircut, like a handsome boy going off to his first job interview.

Parents and their child’s first haircut are huge deals I’ve learned. Facebook wasn’t around, or at least I wasn’t on it, when my daughter was born nine years ago. So I didn’t get the “pleasure” of seeing the hundreds of postings of children getting their first haircut. I mean, literally, one woman posted 117 – ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN – photos of her son getting his first haircut.

To echo STFU, Parents, seriously, no one needs to see ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTEEN photos of your child getting his or her first hair cut. One, two, or even three would suffice. But because my fiancé and I have been arguing over our son’s hair – our son who barely even has any hair – I wonder if other parents have gone through this or are going through this argument as well.

In my opinion, since I carried the little guy for nine months and he made me gain 60 pounds, and I’m the one who had my stomach cut open to get him out, the least I can get is the first rite on my son’s hair style. I mean, it’s not like we’re arguing which college or university he should go to. We’re talking about a baby’s hairstyle. My brother and my sister-in-law kept their son’s hair long for three years. He looked adorable (and, I’ll admit, kind of like a girl.) But, still, I loved his long locks.

I want my son to have that surfer look, because I think surfers are super cool. I refuse – I REFUSE – to let anyone style his hair like Justin Bieber. In fact, one of my greatest fears is that my fiancé is going to take our son to the barber without telling me. I told him if he did this, I would leave him, that’s how adamant I am about being there and being the stylist next to the professional hair stylist when he gets his first hair cut.

In the meantime, we are also having baby hair wars. When my fiancé is not in the room, I’ll style my son’s fair hair into a mohawk. When I leave the room, my fiancé will comb his hair straight like he’s a mini-banker. Then when he leaves the room, my baby’s hair will be put back into the mohawk style. Let’s just say it’s a good thing he’s only seven months old and doesn’t really know or care that we are touching his head.

I will, I tell you, win this baby hair war. My fiancé is nearly bald after all (a totally sexy bald) so, really, don’t I know more about hair then him? And, yes, you can expect a picture or two of my son’s first haircut in a few years. Like I said, I’m not cutting his hair until he looks like a surfer. And, yes, you can put this under the theme of “stupidest parental arguments ever.” But it doesn’t really feel that way. At least not to me.

(photo: Cindy Hughes / Shutterstock)