father and daughter

Throwing Your Teen A Playboy Mansion-Themed Party Is What We Like To Call, ‘No’

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playboyEvery child’s birthday party needs a theme, right? When they’re young you have themes like superheroes or Doc McStuffins. But what do you do when they turn 18? According to the world’s creepiest dad with the worst judgment on record, you throw a Playboy Mansion themed party for your daughter. Because hurray for drunk teenagers in lingerie!

Yes, the grossest of all the gross dads is a California attorney (specializing in medical marijuana cases) named Jeff Lake. Remember that name, California parents, because if your kid ever asks to go over to his kids’ house, the answer is to taze them. Good old Jeff threw a party on Friday night that was referred to as “Liv’s Playboy Mansion Party” for his 18-year-old daughter, Olivia Lake. The role of the girl’s mother, Jacki Lake, in all of this is unclear, though she did refer to her daughter in a birthday tweet as “the baddest bitch in town” and told her in the same tweet, “Now don’t get arrested.” Also, Jacki used to the the president of Poway High School’s PTA because of course she was. So I’m going to go ahead and guess that this super cool twosome were in cahoots in their attempt for the title of  “2015’s Most Questionable Parenting Decision.” They are certainly strong candidates. Fingers crossed!

Jeff Lake was arrested the night of the party for social host ordinance violation charges, according to News 10, because it’s illegal to host a party where kids under the age of 18 are consuming alcohol. I know, the cops are total buzz kills, right Jeff? See, the Lake’s neighbors called the cops after 150-200 teens showed up for the party, some of whom were seen holding alcoholic beverages in front of the home. San Diego County Sheriff’s deputies also found two kids, aged 17 and 19, unconscious inside the home.

Woo-hoo, Spring Break! I mean, Teenager’s Birthday Party!

In the Lake’s defense, the party wasn’t held on a school night. And second, these kids weren’t unsupervised because Jeff Lake and other unnamed adults were at the party. Oh wait, that actually makes it like a bajillion times worse and ickily vomitous, doesn’t it? *Hurp*

In addition to the social ordinance charge, which carries a possible six-month jail sentence, Lake has to reimburse deputies $3,600 for the amount of time it took them to clear the scene. He also has to reimburse me for shock and emotional distress, because I can’t believe that there is a parent out there who is creepy and terrible enough to think that this kind of thing is okay, and I’m not sure that I will recover. Please make checks out to the National Organization for Women. Thanks, Jeff.

(Photo: Twitter via 7News Denver)