Childrearing

10 Reasons You Should Never Listen To Dr. Google When Your Kid Is Sick

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Google is the greatest thing ever – until you have a sick kid. Then, Dr. Google becomes the enemy. Do not trust Dr. Google. Do not consult Dr. Google. Do everything in your power to avoid Dr. Google when your child is having some minor symptoms.

This is a lesson I repeatedly ignore. I did last week and almost spent hundreds of dollars at an after-hours clinic because my child had one swollen eye out of nowhere and Dr. Google convinced me to take him to the clinic immediately. Sometimes it’s better to just trust your parental instincts and keep an eye on your child. More information is not necessarily a good thing. Here are some reasons why.

1. You will panic.

You went from thinking it was weird that your kid was slightly lethargic, to convincing yourself he was dying. Congratulations.

2. You will convince yourself that your kid has meningitis.

Screen Shot 2014-07-07 at 12.29.05 PM

You know what Dr. Google’s answer is to every symptom your child has? MENINGITIS. Not kidding. Try it. Google a symptom and see what happens. My kid had a mild irritation due to sticking his dirty fingers in his eye that caused one to swell. That screencap is the first thing I saw.

3. You will sound like an asshole when you get to the doctor.

“Are you sure it’s not orbital cellulitis? Are you sure?”

4. You will take your kid to the ER for no reason.

If I’ve learned anything from nearly four years of Dr. Google – it’s wait until morning to talk to your regular doctor unless it really is an emergency.

5. You will panic.

It’s unavoidable.

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