Weird News

Dudebros Start Petition Against ‘Manspreading’ Bans, Because Equality And Giant Balls

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Some Canadian dudebros are seriously upset that people are rising up against “manspreading,” or as I like to refer to it, “the insistence that your balls are so giant that you could not possibly close your legs and sit like a normal human on public transportation.”

The Metropolitan Transit Authority already has rules in place about taking up seats with belongings, but recently started to tackle the problem of men who believe their junk needs a lot of space to breathe. Like, a lot. If you don’t regularly ride the subway, you may not realize what an issue this can be on a crowded car. Here is the poster the MTA made to attempt to curb the problem:


Some men are not happy with the backlash against manspreading, because they find it “sexist.” Some Canandian men were so unhappy that manspreading awareness had moved to their neck of the woods that they started a petition. Thank you, Addicting Info, for pointing out the most ridiculous petition I have ever seen (and that’s saying something). The Canadian Association Of Equality, which I’m assuming is a bunch of dudes who hang out in drum circles in the forest when they aren’t busy making nonsense petitions, calls the term manspreading “sexist.” Ha! Of course they do. NOT ALL MEN, YOU GUYS. Not all men can close their legs around their enormous (in their minds) ball sacks.

The petition, very creatively titled, Don’t allow the ban on “manspreading” on the bus/train to pass, explains that men need more space because, “biology.”

This sets a very bad precedent as men opening their legs is something we have to do due to our biology. It sometimes can be physically painful for to close our legs and we can’t be expected to do so.  We can’t force woman to stop breast feeding on busses or trains and we can’t force men or women to stop bringing strollers on, why should we force men to close their legs? This is sexism plain and simple and it cannot be passed. My main goal for all of this is that I just want to see something gender neutral. It doesn’t have to be all about men, everyone hogs seats.

Wow. Men’s Rights Advocates will jump on anything, won’t they? “It doesn’t have to be all about men, everyone hogs seats.” Only this specific plague on the public transit system is, guys. Sorry. There’s a reason it’s called “manspreading.” Since the conversation around this annoying social tick started, some studies have emerged that say that people who take up more physical space feel more “entitled,” so it’s not surprising that a Canadian MRA group would take offense to stopping it.

In conclusion, I would like to say YOUR BALLS ARE NOT THAT BIG. Get over yourselves.