Zombie Flamingos Are Exactly What Your Yard Needs This Halloween

I will be the first to admit that I have a tendency to go a little … overboard when it comes to holiday decor. I just can’t help myself. Even though I have literal storage tubs full of Halloween decorations, I still find that I need (yes, need) to add to my collection every year. Target is usually my drug of choice, and I almost always leave with at least one piece of Halloween decor after trip. It’s just all so amazing! And really, when you have a yard, there’s no limit to how much crap you can shove in it for a holiday. This year, we’re going with a Stranger Things theme for our outdoor decor (building Castle Byers and a shadow monster and everything). But that doesn’t mean I can’t use some supporting characters in my yard. And these zombie flamingos are perfect and must be mine.

Now, I associate yard flamingos with retirement villages and places like Florida. But zombie flamingos? Well, these birds belong anywhere.

Just look at those glorious birds! Those creepy, horrific birds. The thing is, you just KNOW that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, flamingos are going to wild out and kill us all. Even pretty pink flamingos have an edge to them, I don’t mess with them. But I would be down with some zombie flamingos hiding in my bushes and flowerbeds, oh yes. The birds are sold on Amazon as a pair, and they’re painted black. The best part is the zombie details: blood red eyes and sinister teeth hiding in their beaks. I’d keep them up all year long, to be honest.

Obviously if you go the zombie flamingo route, you need some supporting characters. Make it a whole bird thing with creepy flamingos.

I LOVE THESE SO MUCH. I have a whole skeleton thing happening inside my house, so I would probably place these somewhere indoors. Preferably hidden in some corner, so that every time kids came into the room, they’d have the shit scared out of them. Because that’s what Halloween is all about, right? Anywho, these skeleton flamingos are on Amazon and they’re delightful.

Now, once you start adding a bunch of monster birds to your yard, there’s really no reason to stop there. Every yard needs some zombie gnomes, yes? Yes.

Just look at those little cuties! All bloody and vacant-eyed. You could also send a warning to all those non-zombie flamingos out there with this amazing piece of Halloween artistry.

Why yes, those ARE zombie gnomes feasting on the mangled carcass of a beautiful pink flamingo. Picture it: you set up some regular yard flamingos, place this lovely sculpture near them, and then have an army of zombie flamingos starting to form nearby. YOU’RE WELCOME.

So, in closing: everyone needs some zombie flamingos and gnomes in their yard for Halloween. Maybe they’ll scare off the idiots who come to your door in stupid costumes.

(Image: Amazon)