10 Things You Will Find In Your Kid’s Backpack That Are Not Homework

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If you have a school-age child, then you know all about the black hole that is their backpack. My kids are not terribly messy in general but they both have the tendency to hang on to things. It may be partly my fault as I am a sentimental sap and keep far too many of their childhood chotchkies but sometimes, I just cannot understand why they keep certain items. Emptying their backpacks is a daily episode of “WTF Is This?” so I thought I would share it with you all.

1. Half A Rotten Banana

ddee gag


If my kids pack a lunch, they inevitably eat part of it on the bus in the morning (regardless of how much cereal they cram in before they leave.) Sometimes, they open a banana only to abandon it. Seeing liquefied banana ground into fabric just gives me life, you guys. Motherhood is pure joy, I tell ya.

2. A Bracelet From Another Kid

not mine


I don’t know why, but other girls seem to love gifting random items to my daughter. Either that, or she’s stealing them and lying to me. Regardless, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve found a piece of kiddie jewelry in her backpack that I have to send back with her the next day to return to it’s rightful owner.

3. Broken Hair Ties

big hair


Like me, my daughter has Hulk hair. It is so thick and causes hair ties to snap. I find old, broken hair ties almost every week. Also, ditched head-bands and barrettes. I honestly don’t know why I bother-no hair-do ever sees the end of the school day before she’s dismantled it.

4. Glitter



As a good friend once told me, glitter is the herpes of craft materials. Indeed. Whenever they use it in art class and bring home a masterpiece, I am wiping glitter out of their backpacks and off all of their belongings for weeks. Can we just fucking not with the glitter, teachers?

5. Food Wrappers

trash can


Despite the presence of trash cans all over the school, my kids tend to toss food wrappers straight into their backpacks. Bonus points for Goldfish cracker crumbs that gather in the bottom corners!

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