STFU Parents: Eggcessive Facebook Parents Who Treat Easter Like Christmas 2.0

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Granted, I was raised Jewish, but because I grew up in the South, I’ve attended numerous Easter egg hunts and even received a few Easter baskets, so I know the deal. I know what’s “normal.” And what used to be considered normal has in recent years expanded to include far more than the average basket can hold. It’s actually kind of sad that so many parents still insist on putting all of their kids’ items in baskets, because they wind up overstuffing multiple baskets per child when they should just cram it all into their kids’ 900-square foot Victorian playhouse or whatever. It’s ridiculous. How do you lovingly pack multiple Easter baskets — which, if memory serves, is a holiday about Jesus dying for your sins, and is supposed to teach gratitude and sacrifice — and NOT take all but one of them to a shelter or a children’s hospital or something? How do parents just obliviously roam store aisles, picking up trendy toys and iPads and bikes and swing sets (these are all items now gifted on Easter) and not stop and say out loud to themselves, in the middle of shopping, “Wait a second. My kids don’t need any of this crap! WHAT AM I DOING?”? I honestly wonder.


It’s hard for me to understand the impetus behind over-purchasing for children who already have enough on a holiday that supposedly teaches mindfulness and reflection, but each year I’m given the impression that it’s because parents want their kids to feel loved and they want to look like The Best Parent(s) Ever on social media. Unfortunately, kids don’t feel more loved when you buy them pallets of gifts, and parents who brag about how much shit they bought for their kids only make themselves look crazy. The big parenting theme so far this year is about how young parents are raising future narcissists. If you think you fit that description, you might want to put away your credit card and back away from the giant bunny display. Your kid doesn’t need diabetes OR an ego the size of a golden egg. Trust me.

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