STFU Parents: The 5 Types Of Easter Updates On Facebook

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Happy early Easter, everyone! Well, not everyone, as I myself am Jewish, but hey, I’m not afraid to partake in a little chocolate bunny-gorging. I can appreciate the appeal of forcing your child to sit on a grown man-in-a-bunny-suit’s lap (although phrased in that way, it does sound a little weird, right?). I also understand the entertainment value of watching toddlers trip over themselves to collect Easter eggs, because really, there should be WAY more competitive events that involve collecting edible gifts off expansive, manicured lawns. I wouldn’t mind participating in an adult version of this, in which eggs are filled with money, jewelry, and sedatives. But that’s a hunt for another day! Today, we celebrate Easter and its importance in many a child’s life.

No matter the holiday, I get an overflow of submissions, and it’s always fun for me to read through the prior year’s submissions that didn’t make it to the blog. Some things don’t change (for instance, Easter bunny pics), and other things (like mommyjacking), deserve to be seen by more than just me. So in an effort to celebrate this most resurrection-y of holidays, I now present a resurrection of submissions (with one brand new one) as many families prepare for this weekend’s festivities. Here are five common Easter updates you’ll see on Facebook this season:

1. Egg Hunt Bragging

STFU Parents

Every year, parents say one of two things related to their children’s experiences at Easter egg hunts: 1. My child was ripped off / pushed down / beaten out by older, faster children at the egg hunt and it’s a horrific abomination, or 2. My child is SO FREAKIN’ AWESOME at egg collecting, I think we may have a PRO on our hands!

Clearly, it’s better to be Parent #2 because at least then you’re not complaining about “egg hunt rules” for children and coming off like a brat. But that said, bragging about how incredible it is that your kid can “intuitively” place eggs in a basket can also sound a little self-righteous. I mean, c’mon, who wouldn’t pick up a shiny, pastel-colored egg that was rumored to have treats inside? The attraction is practically innate.

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