When Someone Called Her ‘Not a Real Parent,’ a Mom Clapped Back in the Best Way Possible
One of the cool things about families is that they’re all created differently. Some are formed through marriage, some through birth, and others are started through foster and adoption. No matter how someone becomes a parent, it’s an incredibly rewarding, but incredibly hard, experience. So you can imagine how upset a mom was when someone dared to tell her that she was “not a real parent,” because she didn’t give birth to her son. The unbelieveable nerve of some people.
Reddit user vietnamazinggg shared on the subreddit r/parenting that “a woman on Facebook tried to tell me I wasn’t a real parent because I didn’t give birth.” She responded with an epic rant for the ages:
Vietnamazinggg started her clapback with the facts. “I did not give birth to my child. I did not get to feel him growing within me, or hold him against my skin when he was born. Perhaps by your definition, my child is not a part of me – he does not resemble me or my wife.”
She went on to say exactly how she’s a parent – and it’s heartbreaking.
“I didn’t labor for hours for this child, I labored for YEARS. I waited for years to be told that we had been chosen, that we were finally going to be allowed to be parents.
I didn’t feel labor pains. I felt the incredible pain of emptiness in my heart and home as my wife and I yearned to begin our family through adoption.
I didn’t get to wake up in the middle of the night and nurse my sweet child. I did, though, spend many nights lying awake and praying to whomever might be listening to let us be next. Asking myself why we hadn’t been chosen yet. Poring over adoption profiles and sending endless e-mail inquiries on children available for adoption and being told no, no, no over and over again. And like you said, “you can’t possibly understand that feeling.” I feel certain you have absolutely no idea.”
How could ANYONE think this woman and her wife aren’t parents? Some people are so ignorant.
Vietnamazinggg also notes how the experience has been for her son, who would probably be surprised to learn he doesn’t have “real” parents.
“A child lives to depend on me – you’re right. My child has been let down by everyone else in his life. You think I am not losing sleep? He may not wake me up to feed him every couple hours, but he screams out in his sleep – no doubt reliving past traumas from the life he led before being adopted.
Not every experience is your experience. Not every mother is a mother because she gave birth. Not every child is yours or a “part of you” because you grew it inside of you.
My child will always be a part of me, because we’re fighting for this life together.”
I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying.
And because her clapback wasn’t perfect enough, she ends her response with “TLDR: Fuck you. I’m a mom.”
YEAH YOU ARE! Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not. That little boy is lucky to have you.
(Image: iStock / grinvalds)
