being a mom

Snoop Dogg Is A Better Mom Than Me Because I Don’t Know How To Get High

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I recently confessed to you all that I’m more of a drinky mom than a stoner mom so if my kids ever want to get high, I’m going to send them to live with their uncle Snoop Dogg for lessons. It should be noted that Snoop Dog isn’t my actual uncle, but sometimes I pretend I’m related to my favorite rap musicians, which is why I always send Ice Cube a Christmas card. Snoop Dogg and I, besides the fact we are both amazingly cool and excellent rappers, have very similar parenting styles.

Snoop is teaching his son Spanky how to get high in the proper way. The Hollywood Reporter got the scoop from Snoop (alliteration, I love you) and he said this:

“My kids can do whatever the hell they want,” he explains of his parenting philosophy. “For me to say otherwise would be hypocritical. A lot of motherf–ers don’t have a relationship with their kids, and that’s when they get on drugs and have suicidal thoughts and drive drunk. Me and my son is mellow. I’m his father, so I wanna show him the proper way because he looks up to me.”

This is a way in which Snoop Dogg and I have very similar parenting styles. I also want to teach my kids the “proper way” which I why I show them exactly how to scrape the crud off the dishes before loading the dishwasher and as a “mother—er who has a relationship” with my own kids, I can attest that parents set the best example.

The article also states that:

For the record, Snoop, a California resident, is a proud holder of what he calls “a platinum medical marijuana card”

The similarities just keep coming, but instead of a medical marijuana card I recently got a card from Quodoba which entitles me to a free order of chips and queso.

I can’t lecture anyone on why getting bad is high because all of the pot smokers I know just get high and eat snacks and fall asleep. I do get sort of frowny about Snoop Dogg teaching his 18-year-old son to get stoned but I’m not about to judge Snoop Dogg or get in a mommy war with him over who is a better parent. The last time this happened, my guest spit was totally cut from this. 

(photo: Wenn)