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Smelly Adults Are More Annoying Than Crying Babies And I Could’ve Told You That

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shutterstock_55606390__1368814783_142.196.156.251Babies are not the only annoying people on planes. I have been very vocal about my stance on that. Mostly because I resent the dread that I feel before boarding a plane – hoping that my usually well-behaved toddler won’t go all Exorcist on everyone and make my flight a living hell. There is nothing worse than enduring a miserable toddler, and a plane full of passive-aggressive, judge-y looks from people who think you should be grounded after you procreate.

Which is why I am thrilled to see this new poll that proves I am not alone. Not all passengers believe a crying baby is the ultimate ruin-er of flights: “Sixty-three percent say a stinky adult would be a more off-putting seatmate than one holding a crying baby.”

Yes! Thank you. Babies cry. They are being babies. Toddlers sometimes throw tantrums. But a grown adult that can’t shower or understand personal hygiene is way more annoying from my perspective. I once had a woman unwrap an egg salad sandwich and slowly nibble it the length of a two-hour flight. I remember one commenter responding, “what is wrong with egg salad?” I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it. It smells like farts. I don’t want to smell farts the entire length of my flight. I’ll take a crying child any day.

I guess it all comes down to personal preference and what we can all endure. I’ve had talkative seat mates that made my flight a living hell. Why is a a talkative seat mate worse than a crying baby? You have to respond to them. I don’t have to respond to a crying baby. I can just put my headphones on, order a gin and tonic, and chill out.

Clearly I have a higher tolerance for children now because I have my own. But I like polls like this because they remind us that flying sucks for so many reasons – not all of which have to do with my occasionally cranky child. The volume at which you listen to your iPod annoys me, your egg salad sandwich annoys me, listening to Dudebro dude-out with his drunk dude friends the entirety of a flight annoys me. Lots of things annoy me. I get it.

But again, let’s just stop pretending that children are the only annoying things on planes. They’re not. By far.