Captain Obvious Releases Statement Saying Sitting Too Close To The TV Is Harmless

Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles decided to play the part of Captain Obvious recently when they released a statement debunking the “myth” that sitting too close to a television will ruin your eyes. Am I being overly-optimistic in assuming that the majority of people already knew this?

The myth started in the 1960s over some faulty General Electric sets. Apparently certain G&E TVs were emitting more x-rays through the vents than average. These particular sets were recalled and fixed, but the damn urban legend persists to this day. And I’m not going to let a little thing like logic get in the way of telling my kids to back AWAY from the television.

Another myth that’s full of bologna? The idea that watching TV or using a computer screen in the dark can damage your vision. NOPE, not according to the American Academy of Ophthalmology. In fact, the entire idea of it being damaging is illogical, considering that people used to do everything by candlelight or moonlight. The only thing you risk by staying up late to read your furry erotica online is eye strain, which isn’t permanent, though it can cause headaches.

None of this will stop me from telling my kids to sit back away from the screen. One, because the farther away they are, the farther away their grubby little hands are. And two, because it’s annoying to me, dammit! The same way I won’t let the fact that you can’t cramp up and die in the pool after eating a PB&J stop me from telling my kids they have to wait. How else would I get any magazine reading time in?

Seriously though, when I see official statements like this, or studies, I wonder exactly who is commissioning this stuff? Do we really need someone to tell us this garbage? What next? NEWSFLASH! The sky is blue!