100 Awesome Ways To Celebrate No Housework Day By NOT Doing Housework


Today is National No Housework Day, and I am going to celebrate so hard. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

Here are 100 ideas to get the party started:

  1. Leave dirty clothes by the bed.
  2. Throw dirty clothes into dirty bathwater.
  3. Tape dishwasher shut with duct tape.
  4. Tape NO HOUSEWORK signs all over the house.
  5. Shout I’M ON STRIKE whenever someone enters the room.
  6. Post the same status on Facebook.
  7. Post the same status on Twitter.
  8. Pin pins on Pinterest that have nothing to do with cleaning hacks.
  9. Humble brag on social media about not doing housework all day.
  10. Strategically cover couch crumbs with couch blanket.
  11. Poke holes in the vacuum bag.
  12. Break a feather duster in half.
  13. Use Swiffer cloths to make hand puppets.
  14. Use Swiffer cloths as makeshift diapers (for yourself or baby).
  15. Deliberately make a mess.
  16. Refuse to clean it up.
  17. Mime riding a broom like a witch.
  18. Re-brew coffee using old coffee grounds and force self to drink it.
  19. Cleverly reuse coffee grounds to scrub face.
  20. Lay on the floor.
  21. Lay on the bed.
  22. Lay on the porch.
  23. Lay in the bath.
  24. Take a shower until the water runs cold.
  25. Leave a clump of hair in the drain.
  26. Sit on the porch.
  27. Sit on the couch.
  28. Sit at the table.
  29. Sit on the stairs.
  30. Sit on the toilet.
  31. Leave dishes in the sink.
  32. Switch roles with the kids.
  33. Demand a foot massage.
  34. Demand a back rub.
  35. Demand a pedicure.
  36. Go get your hair did.
  37. Go get your nails did.
  38. Pay a professional for a better back rub and foot massage.
  39. Snack.
  40. Don’t wipe up the crumbs.
  41. Text.
  42. Eat all the old food in the fridge.
  43. Eat all the old snacks in the cabinet.
  44. Drink all the beer.
  45. Drink all the wine.
  46. Drink a martini.
  47. Drink exclusively out of paper cups.
  48. Smoke a celebratory cigar.
  49. Refuse to make dinner.
  50. Refuse to look for takeout menus in the junk drawer.
  51. Let someone else order takeout.
  52. Instagram pictures of your takeout.
  53. Refuse to clean up after dinner.
  54. Instagram pictures of your dirty sink.
  55. Use #nohouseworkday a lot.
  56. Designate a trash pile in the living room.
  57. Bury trash in the yard.
  58. Sweep trash under the bed.
  59. Fill the washer and dryer full of trash.
  60. Roll eyes a lot.
  61. Make dirty hand gestures.
  62. Learn new dirty hand gestures.
  63. Pretend you have lost your hearing.
  64. Pretend you are narcoleptic.
  65. Wear sunglasses all day long.
  66. Binge-watch Netflix.
  67. Binge-watch reality TV on DVR.
  68. Binge-watch HBO Go.
  69. Read a Kindle.
  70. Read a book.
  71. Read a magazine.
  72. Scrapbook.
  73. Paint.
  74. Knit.
  75. Write a screenplay.
  76. Write angry reviews online.
  77. Have a backyard picnic.
  78. Drink coffee on the porch.
  79. Go back to bed.
  80. Go to the movies alone.
  81. Go to the mall alone.
  82. Go grocery shopping alone.
  83. Learn to twerk.
  84. Walk aimlessly around the block.
  85. Brand clothes you hate with an iron.
  86. Browse Internet on your smartphone.
  87. Research getting a tattoo.
  88. Change your mind.
  89. Ask yourself what it’s all for.
  90. Go back to bed.
  91. Teach your toddler to change his own diaper.
  92. Spray kids with hose at bath time.
  93. Wear sturdy shoes to walk over toys on the floor.
  94. Cover dirty play area with tarp.
  95. Let kids play in water on the kitchen floor and call it “mopping.”
  96. Hire a cleaning service.
  97. Hire a nanny.
  98. Hire a landscaping service.
  99. Pay your significant other $50 to clean the house.
  100. Create a Google Chore Chart to divide up housework for the rest of the year.

(Image: Syda Productions/Shutterstock)

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