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What Your Toddler’s Extracurricular Activities Say About You

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stage momDeciding what kidde classes and sports teams to sign your toddler up for can be stressful. They’re too young to have clear preferences for much, and while the local Y is great, I’ve yet to see them offer classes my kids would actually be excited over, like a 6-week intensive history of Elmo class or a class on proper play dough and dog water bowl pairings for the discerning toddler palate. Really, the activities your tot is enrolled in say less about your child’s interests and more about you as a parent. They express your hopes and dreams are for your kid’s future, and can even try to mend any lingering regrets from your own youth. Here’s what your toddler’s extracurricular activities say about you.

1. Nothing.

Your parents pushed you to play volleyball all the way through college and you have nothing to show for it except years of resentment and a bad knee. You refuse to let your child feel forced into anything, and therefore you won’t sign her up for any classes until she asks.

2. Soccer.

You’re a basic mom who wanted an activity that would let your child have some social interaction with other kids, but wasn’t so dangerous that you couldn’t sit back with a latte and some chit-chat during practice. The fact that he’s tuckered out for the rest of the day from all that running around is an added bonus.

3. T-ball.

See Soccer Mom above, only you went with T-ball instead because your husband insists that your child has “real potential” ever since the first time your kid threw his teddy bear across the room. Resistance to the sport was futile, as your husband mutters, “I could have been a contender” under his breathe any time your FIL brings up his high school glory days on the baseball team, which is often. Besides, maybe your kid will end up with a scholarship, and that would be awesome.

4. Tap, Jazz, Ballet, acting classes and voice lessons.

Your child is almost four and already has a credit list longer than half the cast of The Lion King on Broadway. Abby Lee Miller is your idol and being called a Stage Mom isn’t an insult to you, it’s a compliment. No one doubts your commitment to Sparkle Motion. No one.

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