The only association I have with Legos is the searing pain and blinding rage I feel whenever I step on one of those little fuckers in a dimly lit living room. I’ve never been sexually attracted to a Lego, but these days, I’m open to anything that may spice up my marital bed — yes, even Lego porn.
I’ve started looking at Lego porn, and I am addicted. I may need to go to a meeting, perhaps a sub-chapter of Sex Addicts Anonymous. Once you delve into this amazing Lego porn, you’ll probably become an addict too. And then you’ll be looking at it all the time in the bathroom on your iPhone, and everyone will be ashamed of you, and you’ll probably lose your most important relationships.
So check out this Lego porn at your own risk. If you fall down a slippery shame spiral and become sexually attracted to Legos, that’s really not my problem because I told you not to. If you need help with your addiction, you’re going to have to seek out other Lego lovers that are into freaky freak plastic porn because they are the only people that can help you now.
Shield your eyes, or get your downloading finger ready, whatever you prefer. Here’s the best Lego porn that you’ll ever find on the Internet:
*Note: My husband also pointed out that Legos are HARD ALL THE TIME, which might be why they’re so successful in the porn industry. It just makes sense. No fluffers needed.
1. A Lovely Lego Porn Star With A Nice, Hard Rack
mattsbrickgallery.tumblr.com
2. Just Your Typical Lego Orgy, No Big
wickedfire.com
3. Just Your Typical Lego Three-Way
4. Legos Like It From Behind
forum.santabanta.com
5. A Lego Returning The Favor
ticklingforum.com
6. Legos Fulfill Your Creepiest Sex Fantasies
7. Lego S&M, For Very Bad Boys
boingboing.net
8. Angry, Bearded Lego Sex
slicktiger.wordpress.com
9. Legos Caught In The Act
forum.bodybuilding.com
10. Lego Star Wars Bondage, For A Very Niche Market
Honestly, this seems fine. A guy in Wisconsin got such a bad haircut that he actually called the police….
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