Ungrateful Lands’ End Customers Don’t Appreciate Free Boobs
Does Lands’ End sell pearls? If not, they totally should because they could make a killing off of their fans’ predisposition to clutch them. Tightly.
Apparently the purveyor of fine monogrammed canvas goods committed a crime against preppiness by including a free issue of GQ along with their catalogue, it almost had a sort of, kind of naked lady on it, and this just won’t do, no it will not doÂ at all.
According to the New York Times, the magazine was included as part of a deal with its publisher, CondÃ¨ Nast, and was supposed to be a reward for high value customers, and it was the July issue, which features Emily Ratajkowski with a lei draped across her breasts:
To be completely fair, GQ wasn’t exactly the best choice. I don’t know what goes on inside a Lands’ End catalogue, but I’ve always assumed it’s secret yachting stuff or something. Now I’m starting to think it’s all monogrammed bible covers and linen-look chastity belts, because the reactions to the GQ cover have brought all kinds of horrified people out of the woodwork.
Including horrified children, like this woman’s confused child, who is probably just concerned because they have never seen a torso or something before.
Confused! Horrified! Horrifyingly confused!
Or this woman, who is really adorable in her concern for her 14-year-old’s first ever exposure to covered up breasts, met with a mixture of fascination and disturbance:
Awww, she thinks that’s pornography. Awww, she thinks that her 14-year-old son has never seen pornography before.
Or this other woman, who is concerned about Emily Ratajkowski’s breast tentacles reaching into her marriage to choke all of the trust out of it or something.
I’m confused: do her grandchildren not know what clothing labels are? Why would she need to explain them?
Lands’ End of course sent an apology letter to the affected customers, admitting that they had made a mistake and promising to switch the gift to a free subscription of Conde Nast Traveler,Â which I’ve also never read but I bet it features way less boobies and way more nautical striping.
In the meantime, I officially found my favorite response to the whole Lands’ End/GQ fiasco: