Kristen Bell Just Ruined My Day With a Story About Anal Worms
OK, Kristen Bell. We need to have a conversation. AND NOT ABOUT ANAL WORMS. I couple of weeks ago I made the mistake of reading an article about eye worms. I vowed never to read another article about any kind of body worm again. And then, THEN, Kristen had to go and talk about the most vile of all worms. So not only did I have to read it, I have to write about it, too. I feel personally attacked by this story.
Kristen Bell was on The Joel McHale Show on Netflix recently. It’s a very funny show and I highly recommend it. After taping was finished, Kristen and Joel started talking about … worms. Anal worms, to be specific. Luckily (unluckily?) for us, cameras caught it all.
Joel made a joke about Kristen having feline leukemia, and that’s when Kristen shared her horrifying story. See, she didn’t have feline leukemia. But, she did just get over a case of pinworms! Pinworms are worms that live in people’s colons and rectums. They are anal worms. ANAL. WORMS. Female pinworms lay their eggs in the anus (oh my god), and it causes a lot of itching. And guess what? They are super contagious! So that’s awesome.
Kristen told Joel that during a recent visit to her daughter Delta’s preschool, she noticed all the carpets had been removed. She was told that the school had a breakout of pinworms. Which might be the 3 most disturbing words for a parent to hear.
She started checking her daughter’s poop, and sure enough, found a tiny little white worm. But it gets worse! Because shortly after finding the worm, guess who started having an itchy butt? Pinworms aren’t painful, but Kristen did say it was very itchy. Admit it, your butt just started itching, didn’t it?
So, the lesson here: if you catch your kid scratching their butt more than usual, send them away. Just kidding! Kind of. We still love you, Kristen. Well, maybe I’ll love you again after this story leaves my brain space.