It’s the Happiest Time of the Year, When People Get Really Angry at Starbucks’ Paper Cups

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Oh, hooray! We’re less than a week from the 2016 election, and lest anybody think that things will calm down after the election, people on the Internet are in a blind rage about Starbucks’ new cup design.

Last year in November, Starbucks unveiled its annual holiday cup design, and over in the Kirk Cameron corner of the Internet, people lost their minds over the cup’s minimalist red ombre design. It was simple and pretty–bright red at the top, shading to cranberry red at the bottom, with the green Starbucks logo in the middle. But some people decided that the cups were anti-Christian, I guess because they lacked overt Christian iconography.

“War on Christmas!” people screamed. “Bad Ombre!”

One can only assume they wanted the stations of the cross etched out in fake blood. Christmasy! 


If Starbucks thought they could avoid that drama this year, they were sadly mistaken. Yesterday they unveiled their new “unity” cup, which is green and features a “mosaic of more than a hundred people drawn in one continuous stroke.” It promotes love, inclusion, and togetherness, and people are already threatening a boycott over it.

“During a divisive time in our country, Starbucks wanted to create a symbol of unity as a reminder of our shared values, and the need to be good to each other,” Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said.




Also I would bet a large amount of money that the people getting upset about cups are people who have recently said, “The problem with PC culture is that people are too easily offended these days.”

The craziest thing about this particular hullabaloo is that these aren’t even the 2016 holiday cups! Those are red and look completely different and aren’t officially being revealed until November 10, but one employee on Reddit already leaked the design. It’s a bird and some plants. People will probably lose their shit over that one too, but not until November 10. For now, people are too busy being angry at the color green.