Enthused DIY’ers Busted For Banging In A Home Depot Shed

I have so many feelings about this story! I hate Home Depot and Lowe’s! BUT I LOVE Home Depot and Lowe’s! You guys, I love nothing more than home improvement stores but I absolutely despise going to them. But maybe if my lazy husband would just sex me up inside a stand-alone storage shed at my local Home Depot like this couple did I would feel differently! From The Smoking Gun.com:

A South Carolina couple was arrested yesterday for having sex inside a display shed at a Home Depot.

Emily Craig, 20, and Shaun Bowden, 31, were nabbed after cops were called to the store in North Charleston around 8:40 AM.

Officers were dispatched to the business “in reference to an male and female entering a display shed on the property, closing the door behind themselves and remaining inside,” according to a North Charleston Police Department report.

An inspection of the outdoor sheds turned up Craig and Bowden. Craig, cops noted, was “partially clothed; the top of her dress was untied, hanging at her waist.” Bowden was shirtless and “had his pants down near his knees; his penis was exposed.”

During subsequent questioning of the duo, “it became apparent that they were engaged in sexual intercourse within the shed.”

Oh man, I bet people lost their damn wits over this. Sure, Home Depot and the like are family-type places, visit one on a weekend and you are bound to see a bazillion parents with their kids in tow while they argue about kitchen back splashes, but I can’t help but find this story hilarious. And kinda cute! I mean, the couple is obviously very fond of each other if they had sex at a Home Depot. The only overwhelming emotion I have while visiting the home improvement store is wishing I was anywhere else but the home improvement store. And they were IN the shed. Maybe they were just testing it out to see if it would make an appropriate sex shed for their backyard. And it’s a pretty awesome story to tell, maybe one day they will get married and have kids of their own and be all “Once your father and I got arrested. For having sex. In a shed. At Home Depot. Which is why we named you Home Depot Bowden.” The only thing sort of creepy about the police report is that the dude had a knife on him during his arrest. BUT maybe he needed it for like, I have no idea what DIY projects people do with knives. Whittling? And his penis was exposed when they got busted, but maybe they should have let him pulls his pants up!

I would never be brave enough to actually do something like this but it’s hard for me to view this couple as criminals. But if any of you are planning on spending your Saturday purchasing paint I think you should totally send this to your partner as a big ‘ol wink wink nudge nudge. 

(Photo: Dervin Witmer/shutterstock)