I Love My Baby Daddy, But Not Enough To Live With Him

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I’ve been a single mother for five years now. And I’ve done it. And done it well. Plus, these married friends of mine, not all of them, but a number of them, don’t seem all that happy in their marriages. I truly believe if they took a break from each other, one night a week, their relationships would be better.

In any case, I really saw what it’s like to live with someone seven days a week, for years, when I went out for coffee with my friend a few months ago. We were walking back to her house, and when she saw her husband’s car in the driveway, her face dropped. It literally DROPPED. She said, “Oh, great. Now I’m not going to get any work done.” And I thought, God, if this is what marriage is, or what living together is like, then count me out.

I may not be the best person, or most knowledgeable person, when it comes to marriage, since I never have been married. I can honestly say that it’s never been a priority for me. I always wish that I could be more ‘normal.’ I wish I didn’t need so much alone time. Or I wish that the rest of society could get on board with how I view marriage and living together, even with children in the picture, which is not necessarily living in the same house every single day. [tagbox tag=”marriage”]

Once again, I wish married people would speak up. The question I would ask them is, “Don’t you need some alone time that includes more than just your husband going out for a night of poker, or you going out with friends for an evening?” I would also ask, “Don’t you get annoyed with someone in your space, or face, every single day?”

When I say I’m in the greatest relationship, I’m not trying to brag (or make you gag). It’s the truth. I love him, but I don’t want to be with him seven nights a week. My therapist, when I told him how I felt, said when you find the right person, you’re going to want to sleep with them every night. And I’m there. Like I said, I do miss him when I’m not with him, and, yes, I suppose I do want to sleep with him every night, but I don’t need to. Nor do I think I will, even after baby arrives. We’ll keep his rented place, so either he or I will have somewhere to go for a night off.

Again, I see myself with him for the rest of my life and can also see myself married to him. Six days a week, that is.

(Photo: Sana Design/Shutterstock)

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