Childrearing

Idiot Father Travels To Africa To Plant A Flag On Some Unclaimed Land So His Daughter Can Be A ‘Real Princess’

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father-claims-african-landWhen Jeremiah Heaton‘s then six-year-old daughter asked if she could be a princess when she was older, he “didn’t want to make any false promises.” But he still said “yes.” So instead of just doing what the rest of us do – realizing that six-year-olds eventually grow up to understand that you can’t be a real princess or The Incredible Hulk – he decided to make her dreams come true. He scoured the globe to find some unclaimed land, travelled there, planted a flag on it – and called it his Kingdom. This really happened.

Until now, I thought parents who spent thousands of dollars on Frozen dolls were ridiculous. Well, we all have a new poster dad for “how not to parent.’ From The Washington Post:

Within months, Heaton was journeying through the desolate southern stretches of Egypt and into an unclaimed 800-square-mile patch of arid desert. There, on June 16 — Emily’s seventh birthday — he planted a blue flag with four stars and a crown on a rocky hill. The area, a sandy expanse sitting along the Sudanese border, morphed from what locals call Bir Tawil into what Heaton and his family call the “Kingdom of North Sudan.”

There, Heaton is the self-described king and Emily is his princess.

Who knew it was that easy? There is no way in hell this is legitimate. This father is delusional. “I wanted to show my kids I will literally go to the ends of the earth to make their wishes and dreams come true,” Heaton said. No. Just, no.

Sheila Carapico, professor of political science and international studies at the University of Richmond, told the Bristol Herald Courier last week that Heaton would need legal recognition from neighboring countries, the United Nations or other groups to have actual political control of the land.

Heaton needs legal recognition from neighboring countries and the United Nations to have actual political control of the land. Yeah, I’m sure the United Nations isn’t busy with all the real issues in the world, and that they will make time to peruse the request of a parent who travelled to Northern Africa to basically say “mine!” to a plot of land so he could buy his 7-year-old a tiara. That seems reasonable.

Heaton says planting a flag is exactly how several other countries were historically claimed. He says the only difference is that “those historical cases of imperialism were acts of war while his was an act of love.” He implores friends on his Facebook page to further make Emily’s dream a reality:

While the first part of Emily’s wish has been accomplished here today in East Africa, the second, and most important part involves each and everyone reading this.

I kindly request that when you see Emily, to address her by official title, Princess Emily. Each time she hears this title she will be reminded of my love and the lengths I will go to fulfill her every wish.

It’s not even lunchtime and I’m already done with the Internet today.

(photo: Facebook)