A mother in Montana has given birth to incredibly rare identical triplets. Congratulations to her family- I can only imagine what is in store for her, both amazing and terrifying. Any time I hear of parents having high order multiples, my head starts to spin. These parents are obviously #blessed but also, not in the most enviable of positions, at least for the next two or three years. Sure, all is cozy and adorable when the babies are new and everyone is helping out but fast-forward to a year later when the extra help has gone back to their regular lives and the parents are the ones doing it all. This list is basically everything that is hard to do with one baby, let alone several. Parents of triplets (or more), I stand in amazement.
Cleaning piss droplets off the floor and turd nuggets from the little potty seat for one kid was hellacious enough. Triple the kids, triple the turds.
I can’t even imagine how this would go down. One kid crying and waking the other two. One kid falls asleep and the other two are stubborn hold outs. I’m breaking out in hives just thinking about it.
Well, if you nurse, you only ever have two boobs. If you bottle feed, you only have two hands. Someone will have to wait or you have to get creative and the very thought makes me panicky. I bow down, moms of high order multiples.
4. Becoming Mobile
When my first child started crawling, I was a flipping out wreck trying to predict what she would try to kill herself with next. Picturing three of them heading in separate directions makes my hands clammy.
Trying to get one baby to sleep for at least 40 minutes so I could eat a Lean Cuisine and watch half an episode of CSI: Miami was hard enough. Getting three babies to take a nap at once is the Holy Grail. It must feel like a game of Whack-A-Mole where one just keeps popping back up. Not that you whack them. You know what I mean.
Getting up off the couch to change a poopy diaper is a buzz kill. With three babies that poop all day long, one must never get to even sit on the couch to begin with.
With one kid barfing, it’s relatively simply to quarantine them with a bucket and some towels but three kids barfing at once sounds like The Exorcist.
8. The Clingy Stage
I remember when my son was around a year old and would tug at my pajama pants until they came down to my ankles in an effort to make me pick him up (how dare I do the dishes?!) Three babies at once and I would probably just not bother with pants until they got through that difficult phase.
9. The Chatty Stage
Ever wonder how long until you will lose your mind with one chatty pre-schooler in the backseat of the car when all you want to do is hear just ONE Lady Gaga song? A chorus of three tiny voices at once sounds adorable in theory but I imagine I would lose my shit after a while.
10. Poopy Wall Decor
Were my kids the only ones who made nursery wall art out of their own crap? One kid could create quite the Picasso in five minutes of quiet wakefulness. I think triplets are probably the reason video monitors were created.