Childrearing

10 Types Of Coaches You May Encounter This School Year

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6. The Teacher In It For The Stipend

I also know from talking to my brother that sometimes, your school’s coaches are teachers just in it for a few thousand dollars extra in their pay. It is rare but easily identified when your kid scores a soccer goal and the coach yells “TOUCHDOWN!” They don’t have a clue.

7. The Competitive Former Athlete

This coach has something to prove and is going to get his validation through the little kids in his charge. He may not have made the play-offs in 2002 but gosh darn it, he is going to make them now!

8. Super Clueless Professional

He will show up in a suit and tie with a bag of soccer balls and no idea what to do. He promised his wife he would be more “involved” with the kids and thought that coaching once a week was his ticket. He rushes from the office in his work attire and is proud just to be there.

9. The Guy Heckling The Refs

Oh Lord, this guy has some unresolved issues. Even though your kid is only five years old, this coach feels the need to challenge every call and look like a total asshole. He seems to forget that his crew is only in kindergarten. Just stare at your Smartphone and ignore him until you get someone better next season.

10. The Ideal Coach

Honestly, this is basically my brother. The coach who has been happy playing sports his entire life and wants nothing more than to impart that passion and knowledge on your child. They will be tough to come by but when you get one, shower them with gifts and let them know how appreciated they are. I am very grateful that my kids have “Unkee Kevin” to teach them any sport they please- I know that any child lucky enough to get him as a coach should have a set of very happy parents.

(Image: bikeriderlondon/Shutterstock)

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