I’m Pretty Sure My Kid’s Teacher Hates Me

I think one of my daughter’s teachers really, really doesn’t like me. I know! Shocking, right, that someone doesn’t like me? I’m at an age, I think, where I don’t care whether adults hate me. Except, when you have this gut feeling that a teacher hates you, then you do actually care, because what if said teacher takes it out on your daughter, instead of just hating on you?

I’d love to think that teachers like every student, but if teachers are humans, and the ones I have met, indeed, are humans, then doesn’t it make sense that sometimes a teacher doesn’t like a parent, and may possibly ”consciously uncouple” from your child and treat her like an ex she has to see every day? If it can take place in an office then why not a school?

Let me be frank. Grade five was not an easy year for my daughter. She has a main teacher who I really liked. I had to explain to my daughter, in the beginning, that yes, her teacher was tough, but she also had a really dry sense of humor. (Try explaining ”dry sense of humor” to a ten-year-old.)

There were so many social problems in Grade Five that I am literally counting down the days until school ends. So, did my daughter’s teacher get a lot of e-mails from me this year? Yes, she did. All very short, polite, just explaining the situation.

Trust me, I had a couple friend who screamed bloody murder at the principle last year, because they were only aware, after the teacher called him and his wife, that his daughter was having social problems. That was two weeks before school ended, which is why my couple friend was so irate.

So, yes, I sent a number of e-mails. But then my daughter was on the swim team at school, and that’s when things went south, at least for my daughter’s teacher and me, because her daughter’s teacher also happened to be the swim coach.

I was the only parent in the bleachers during practices, until I was told I wasn’t allowed. Weird, because I really was the one and only person who actually wanted to watch the practices and there hadn’t been an issue before. My argument to the teacher was, ”Well, there are girls playing basketball and baseball and those parents are allowed to watch.”

I finally got the go-ahead, after talking to the Head of Gym, or something, that I was allowed to watch the final ten minutes of practice. Trust me, no one noticed I was there. Not even my daughter. The swim coach/teacher might have. But I just wanted to support my daughter.

The second reason this teacher may not like me is because my daughter Rowan is not in school as much as the other kids, which means added work for her to help my daughter stay on top of things. And I make sure she does. I try to make it as easy on the teachers as possible by just asking what are they learning and we’ll get it done. And she does. So that could be a reason.

Then there was an issue, where there was a writing contest at my daughter’s school, and Rowan didn’t get hers in on time, due to being sick and also at an all-day swim meet the same week. I told my daughter all about deadlines, and if you miss them, well, you don’t get to enter. But then my daughter, in tears, told me three other people in her grade were allowed extensions and she wasn’t. Fair?

Of course I had to complain about this, because I strongly feel you can’t have one rule for one kid and not the others. If even one other kid got an extension, then so should the whole class, or the girls shouldn’t be allowed late entries either.

We got over that hiccup, until I received an e-mail last week from said teacher, saying my daughter was way behind on her homework, way behind on her reading, and she’s disorganized.

I had already made a pact with myself to never e-mail the teacher again, but these were flat out lies. My daughter has to read nine books by the end of April. Her teacher said she was on book two. My daughter was on book number six. I also said she wasn’t falling behind on homework. How could she? She just got a 95% on a math test a few days earlier?

Was I not supposed to defend my daughter? I wrote that she was on book number six and is not at all behind in her homework. I know this. I never heard back.

I’d love to hear from teachers on this (since you can post anonymously!) My friend believes that if a teacher doesn’t like the parent, then most likely they won’t like the kid. Likewise, if they love your kid, they’ll treat the parents better. I’m not so sure about this, as I know a lot of lovely parents with shit-ass kids. I know just as many shit-ass parents that have good kids.

But, for example, if my best friend told me someone was awful to her, well, I wouldn’t go out of my way to be awful to my friend’s ex-friend, but I certainly wouldn’t like her, because I’m loyal to my friend. And before you jump to conclusions, I certainly am NOT the parent who sends e-mail every day, or has ever yelled at the teacher.

Everyone in the world has different personalities and sometimes, like a bad relationship, you both try and try or, as adults, you let the relationship DIE, sometimes without closure. And that’s okay. This goes for all types of relationships.

My issue now, as if I were in a start of a relationship, is what should I do? It’s just so awkward when you know a teacher doesn’t really like you. It’s just a gut feeling I have like the gut feelings my girlfriends have when they decide, like they are hypnotized, to check out their boyfriends password on their phone. Their guts are always right. Of course I’m not going to do that! And neither am I going to beg this teacher to like me (I don’t do begging) or discuss ”whether she has an issue with me.”

I’m going to leave it. She may not like me, but I don’t mind her, as long as she keeps her hate on the ball me! As I told my daughter, you’re not going to like every teacher, so appreciate the good ones. This lesson goes far beyond the classroom, into offices, doctors, lawyers, and pretty much everyone my daughter may run into for the rest of her life. As I said to my daughter just this morning, in less than two months, ”No more school. No more books! No more teachers dirty looks!” (That last sentence, I think was meant for me!)

I don’t need closure with this teacher just as I’m sure she doesn’t need any closure from me. As I tell my single and dating girlfriends, ”Sometimes things just end badly. That’s it!” But I will still buy her an end of the year gift. Any gift ideas for a teacher who hates you?

(Image: Lisa F. Young/shutterstock)