Nothing Says ‘Fail’ Like A Giant Penis On A Child’s Birthday Cake

By  | 

Who doesn’t want a little penis on a child’s birthday cake? Oh, I don’t know – probably everyone. I came across some of these epic birthday party fails today that left me wondering if these bakers had ever seen a penis, and if so – why did they think it was appropriate to plant one smack in the middle of a child’s cake? I’m never lucky enough to be invited to parties with this kind of epic fail. It’s so unfair.

1.  Of course it’s “Peter’s” cake.


Seriously? How did you miss this?

2. Pretty sure that’s supposed to be a baseball bat.


Happy Birthday Jaden! Here’s a big, black dildo with a zebra cock ring fashioned out of frosting!

3. Happy Birthday, Princess!


Oh look! It’s all the Disney princesses surrounded by giant flower-bedazzled cocks. Holy crap. Is whoever made this blind?

4. It’s Brian’s birthday everyone!

Screen Shot 2014-06-06 at 2.59.12 PM


I never thought a baseball bat looked like a penis until today.

5. Don’t do that to Winnie The Pooh.


That candle could have gone anywhere. Weirdo.

6. I’m not even sure what this is.


Rocket-ship penis and baseball cloud?

7. I can’t.


Light saber? Rocket? Probably, because something tells me Josh didn’t want a giant vibrator cake.