I’m Pregnant And I Refuse To Let The ‘Advanced Maternal Age’ Talk Freak Me Out

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Am I conscious? Did this woman just ask me that? What the fuck is going on? Are we best friends? Is this any of her business?

“Can you please just drop it? I really don’t want to have this conversation anymore.” I answer, trying to remain as cool as possible. At that moment it hits me. I have a question for her.

“Do you have kids?”

“No,” she responds.

“When you get pregnant, are you going to take all of these tests?”

“Oh, no way. I don’t want to know. I’d rather leave it in God’s hands.” She flippantly replies, as if she hasn’t just spent the past 40 minutes trying to convince me of the opposite.

“Perfect!” I start laughing uncontrollably. She looks confused. “That is so perfect. You are really great at your job.” Well, she is.

I know it is a fact that the risk for genetic abnormalities increases the older that you conceive. But having been through it twice, I can tell you that there is a lot of training and grooming involved in convincing all women they need these intricate – and I’m sure very expensive – tests. There is no history of any of this in my family, we had no issues with our last “advanced maternal age” pregnancy – and apart from the few tests that they almost insist you have when you are my age, I will not be partaking in anymore genetic counseling, screening, or testing.

Just let me and my old uterus enjoy this pregnancy in peace, please.

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