Having a child is usually a happy time in a woman’s life. Unfortunately, as we wait longer to have children, infertility and trouble conceiving can become a part of the family making process. Unbearable addresses these difficulties.
Months ago, my daughter decided that she wanted a baby brother and a baby sister. She definitely wants one of each. She figures that I can carry the girl in my belly and my husband can carry the boy in his belly. “It’s fair that way Mom,” she told me. If she only knew…
Even before the questions came, I knew it would be a difficult conversation. I had tried to mentally prepare myself for the challenge ahead. I really wanted to have an answer ready, something other than, “Mommy wants you to have a sibling too.” But I didn’t. In the end, that’s what came out anyways.
So now, the whole family is in agreement. Even my daughter wants me to get pregnant. As if I needed any more pressure, right?
Once we’ve all agreed the need for a new bundle of job, the next inevitable question comes. “How do you get pregnant?” Given that my daughter is only four, we choose to go with a purely innocent explanation, “God decides when a family is ready and then he puts a baby in the mommy’s tummy. He knows when the time is right.”
Unfortunately, my little one doesn’t seem willing to submit to Holy Authority. Suddenly, my daughter sees God as the one standing in between her and her baby sister. At first, her prayers were polite and respectful. At night, I would hear her say, “God, please put a baby in my mommy’s tummy.” Then, her requests got a little more demanding. “My cousin is going to have a baby brother soon. I would really like one too please.” Now, she’s downright insistent. “God, we’re ready! We don’t need to wait anymore. We need a baby now. Please.”
I have to admit, I can understand the progression in my daughter’s pleas. Honestly, I started out with that quiet hope and optimism. I smiled every time I thought about getting pregnant. Then, I started to get less patient, more focused. I wanted results quickly. Finally, the frustration set in. I was right there with her yelling, “God, we’re ready!”
As I watch my daughter move through phases of infertility that I know very well, I simply wish that I can keep her positive and excited. I would hate to see this impatience turn into the depression that followed for me. I don’t want to see her hope depleted and her outlook pessimistic.
For over a year, I’ve been praying for a new little one. I’ve wanted a baby so badly. Now that my daughter feels invested in the process, I’m praying for her peace of mind and acceptance for whatever our future holds, whether there’s a sibling for her in it or not. As much as I want a new baby, I want my current daughter to retain her hope and faith more.