Unbearable: Help! I Just Used The Word ”˜Cervix’ In Normal Conversation

Having a child is usually a happy time in a woman’s life. Unfortunately, as we wait longer to have children, infertility and trouble conceiving can become a part of the family making process. Unbearable addresses these difficulties.

Listen, I didn’t set out to become the type of person who talks about her ovulation cycle in polite conversation. That wasn’t my goal. A year and a half ago, I would never dreamed of speaking the word “cervix” to anyone other than my husband or my doctor. I’m a private person! Or at least I thought I was.

Then you all ruined me. Okay, maybe I can’t blame you. But writing about my experiences with infertility has definitely made me more open to speaking about the fertility process and its hurdles. I had realized just how comfortable I was getting with my own uterus until last week.

I recently headed back to the doctor’s office to begin the process of trying to conceive anew. My husband and I still have another month left on our waiting period, while my body heals from recent events. But before we got geared up to start peeing on sticks again, my doctor offered to do an HSG test. For those of you who are uninitiated in Hysterosalpingography, let me explain that this super-fun procedure is a way for doctors to make sure that your Fallopian tubes are free of blockages. Since my last pregnancy got stuck in my Fallopian tube, it seemed like a good idea to make sure that my own surviving one is fully functional.

The test begins with doctors injecting dye into your uterus and making sure that it can flow into the ovaries. But it’s not just the dye that goes up there. A camera has to make its way up your cervix to monitor what’s going on. In fact, you’re even given a medicine to help open your cervix, the very idea of which prompted a lot of confusing thoughts for me. For those of you wondering how a camera feels poking around your ladyparts, let me assure you that the pamphlet I received described it as “not pain-free,” and it wasn’t wrong.

After leaving the doctor’s office, I hurried off to work and run errands. I was returning phone calls and picking up my little girl from daycare. In my rush, I spoke with my husband, my sister and two very close friends. In the process of those conversations, I realized that I told each and every one of them about the camera up my cervix that day.

Yup, I became that person. I became that over-sharing person who talked about her cervix with people who just getting confirming our weekend plans or asking about my day. I mean, sure I can talk about these things with my husband. But I’m pretty sure that my pregnant sister wasn’t worried about my cervix. I don’t think my friends wanted their vague “How’s your day,” answered with that much detail! And yet, there I was, spouting off about my possibly-blocked Fallopian tube.

After all the obsessing and worry, I have to admit that it was a bit of a reality check. Even if we’re starting to try again, it’s important to at least attempt to keep my reproductive issues in perspective. And maybe to consider my crowd a little bit better. After all, readers come to Unbearable to hear about infertility and the trials associated with it. My friends probably don’t call with the intent of hearing about my uterus. Or my cervix.

Hopefully, I can remember to keep my under-functioning ladybits to myself, no matter what they have to do on the journey towards a little one. Let me assure you, lesson learned.

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